In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of aging populations.
Individuals
' average life
expectancies are enhanced due to
the
world development nowadays. It imposes some negative impacts on citizens and society, but there are several ways to handle Correct article usage
apply
theses
problems.
There could be a variety of problems caused by the longer Correct your spelling
these
life
expectancy of individuals
for both people
and society. Firstly
, it aggravate
the burden on hospital Correct subject-verb agreement
aggravates
systems
, rendering that
governments have to spend more money on it, Correct word choice
apply
thus
making
Verb problem
creating
shortage
of funds in other industries . To be specific, if Correct article usage
a shortage
people
have longer life
expenctancy
, the portion of old Correct your spelling
expectancy
individuals
will increase. Due to
the fact that elder people
are more likely to be infected by disease, signifying
the number of patients in Verb problem
apply
hosipital
Correct your spelling
hospital
hospitals
rising
. Add a missing verb
is rising
Consequently
, hosipital
should be extended to Correct your spelling
hospital
hospitals
fuifil
patients' demands, Correct your spelling
fulfil
while
that huge fund of
construction is paid Change preposition
for
by
governments. Change preposition
for by
Therefore
, by supporting hospital systems
more, there will be less financial aids
for other aspects. Fix the agreement mistake
aid
Additionally
, longer expecatncy
Correct your spelling
expectancy
also
may increase the population of city
in a short time, which makes the city become more Add an article
the city
crowed
and uncomfortable. Correct your spelling
crowded
For example
, there are more individuals
on the road, in subway
and Correct article usage
the subway
bus
, leading those places filled with many Wrong verb form
on buses
people
. Hence
, individuals
are prone to be disturbed by the people'
Change noun form
people
Correct word choice
and noisy
noisy
Replace the word
noise
arounding
them, resulting Correct your spelling
around
uncomfortable
experiences.
Change preposition
in uncomfortable
However
, there are some mesures
to figure out the troubles Correct your spelling
measures
made
by Verb problem
caused
longer
Add an article
the longer
life
expectancy of citizens. First of all, governments are suppose
to Change the form of the verb
supposed
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
public'
health awareness, so that the burden of health Change noun form
public
systems
can be relieved. This
is because that
by Correct determiner usage
apply
gaing
more knowledge about how to protect themselves from diseases, Correct your spelling
gaining
individuals
have less possibility to get
infected. Change preposition
of getting
Therefore
, they do not need to visit hospital
. Second of all, creating indoor activities for old Add an article
the hospital
a hospital
people
can tackle with
the higher population of old Change preposition
apply
individuals
. Specifically, with more indoor activities, the extra old people
tend to stay at home rather than hanging
out. Wrong verb form
hang
Thus
, the density of outdoor
Correct article usage
the outdoor
poplution
in cities will be decreased.
In conclusion, Correct your spelling
pollution
population
individuals
with longer life
expectancy results
in higher burden on hospital Verb problem
have
systems
and cities turning
more crowded. Verb problem
become
However
, those problems can be tackled by rising
Correct your spelling
raising
public's
health Correct article usage
the public's
cousciousness
and producing extra indoor activities.Correct your spelling
consciousness
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task achievement
Try to provide more detailed examples to support your points. Specific examples help illustrate and strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow between sentences and paragraphs to make your argument more coherent.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps frame your main points effectively.
task achievement
You have addressed the task by mentioning potential problems and suggesting measures to mitigate these issues, showing a good understanding of the topic.