IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#information #police #budget #area #britain #money #show #summarise #features #comparisons
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The table shows the number of
police
Use synonyms
money
Use synonyms
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 in 2017 and 2018,
while
Linking Words
 the pie charts
indicates
Change the verb form
indicate
show examples
 how the
money
Use synonyms
 was spent based on
three
Use synonyms
 categories. The largest donor of
Use synonyms
police
Correct article usage
the police
show examples
 budget was
National
Correct article usage
the National
show examples
 Government and the sector with the largest
money
Use synonyms
 allocation was
salaries
Use synonyms
. In 2017, the total
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
police
Use synonyms
 financial plan was 304.7
m
Use synonyms
.
This
Linking Words
 number was accumulated from
three
Use synonyms
 main
origin
Change to a plural noun
origins
show examples
, National Government with 175.5m, local taxes with 91.2m, and other sources (eg grants) with 38m.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 figures increased from a total of 304.7
m
Use synonyms
 to 318.6
m
Use synonyms
 in 2018. All
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
three
Use synonyms
 sectors of
source
Correct article usage
the source
show examples
 saw an increase,
although
Linking Words
 it varied among the
three
Use synonyms
 categories as the local residents contributed to
this
Linking Words
 rise the largest with
more
Correct article usage
a more
show examples
 than 10
m
Use synonyms
 increase. The other sources
also
Linking Words
 saw a
grow
Replace the word
growth
show examples
 albeit smaller one with only 0.5 more than in 2017.
Additionaly
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, that number was spent into
three
Use synonyms
 categories,
such
Linking Words
 as
salaries
Use synonyms
 for both officers and staff, technology, and buildings and transport. In 2017, the allocation for
salaries
Use synonyms
 contributed up to 75% of the
overall
Linking Words
police
Use synonyms
 budget. Meanwhile, technology and buildings and transport only accounted for a quarter of the total budget, respectively 8% and 17%.
However
Linking Words
, the
money
Use synonyms
 spent on the technology saw a gain from 8% to 14% in 2018.
In contrast
Linking Words
, the percentage of
salaries
Use synonyms
 spending experienced a decline
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
 about 6%.
Whereas
Linking Words
, the building and transport spending in 2018 remained the same as in 2017.
Submitted by rianadmaja on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words police, money, three, salaries, m with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fiscal allocations
  • Revenue streams
  • Budgetary oversight
  • Expenditure
  • Financial appropriation
  • Government grants
  • Local taxation
  • Operational costs
  • Capital investment
  • Public safety
  • Crime prevention
  • Community policing
  • Resource allocation
  • Year-on-year comparison
  • Budgetary constraints
  • Fiscal year
  • Fund disbursement
  • Budget deficit/surplus
  • Trend analysis
  • Financial sustainability
  • Law enforcement funding
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