. You have been accepted by a university in Canada. Before moving to Canada, you want to gather some information from International Officer. Write to him about your needs. In your letter • introduce yourself • inquire about accommodation options • seek information on Student Discount Card

#university #canada #information #officer #accommodation #options #student #discount #card

Hello International Officer, My name is Cassy from the country Vietnam. I have

recieved

Correct your spelling

received

the letter of acceptance from ABC University, BC, Canada. The school year will start in September, I have 3 months to prepare for it.

Firstly

, as a new

student

Add a comma

student,

show examples

I am concerned about the accommodation. Kindly inform me

detail

Change preposition

in detail

show examples

about the options that the university

offer

Correct subject-verb agreement

offers

show examples

to students. If I can choose to stay

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

campus, please let me know how to make

Change the article

show examples

early

registeration

Correct your spelling

registration

. And if there is no more vacancy

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

campus, any

recommedation

Correct your spelling

recommendation

recommendations

for renting

apartment

Add an article

an apartment

show examples

near

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the university with the budget.

Also

, I would like to attach the scan of my student card. If I am able to get any discount or support for health care, public transportation, student

progamms

Correct your spelling

programmes

programme

... The

last

issue, I am

appreciated

Replace the word

appreciative

show examples

to know about

part-time

Correct article usage

the part-time

show examples

job policy in Canada. It

will

Wrong verb form

would be

show examples

great if you

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

inform me

some

Change preposition

of some

show examples

realiable

Correct your spelling

reliable

sources that I can access to look for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

suitable part-time work. Looking forward

hearing

Change preposition

to hearing

show examples

from you. Best regards, Cassy Nguyen

Submitted by minhchau8487 on Sun Jun 23 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Consider breaking down your paragraphs to focus on a single idea to improve clarity. For example, a separate paragraph for your inquiry about part-time job policy.

task achievement

Ensure that you proofread your letter to correct minor spelling and grammatical errors, such as "recieved" to "received" and "recommedation" to "recommendation."

task achievement

You have included all necessary information, such as your introduction, accommodation queries, and student discount card inquiries.

task achievement

The tone of the letter is polite and formal, which is suitable for a letter to an international officer.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing of the letter are appropriate, enhancing the overall professionalism.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

3Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

8 paragraphs

177 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?
In several countries, the rate of crime is rising. In this essay, my essay will show some reasons why this is happening and suggest several solutions to deal with this problem.
6
band
Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the citizens. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
People believe that saving the environment is the only responsibility of the government. The government should protect all aspects of the environment such as forests, parks, gardens, roads and many more. On the contrary, some people think that the responsibility for protecting the environment is not only for the government but also for all citizens.
7.5
band
Many parents today organise extra classes for their children after school and at the weekends. Do you feel that this is a worthwhile thing to do? Or do you feel children have enough education at school? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.
A significant number of parents may prefer to occupy their children’s free time with various activities, whereas some others believe that the education time in schools is enough for their children. In my opinion, although education systems in recent years have faced significant developments in the field of diversity and enrichment in topics, many aspects and subjects should be taught in a separate timetable.
5.5
band
Write a letter to the hotel making the arrangements. Let them know when you will be arriving and leaving, what type of rooms you would like, and ask them how much the weekend will cost. Also enquire about activities and places of interest near the hotel.
I am writing this letter to inform you about my arrival and departure from your Hotel Ritz- Carlton. I will be arriving on 21st july24 at 12.00 pm. I will be leaving on 24th july24 at 8.pm. please take note of it.
4.5
band
Some people think a job not only provides income but also social life. Others think it is better to develop social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both views and give your opinion
In today's dynamic society, the role of a job extends beyond merely providing financial sustenance. Some argue that a job not only offers income but also shapes an individual's social life, while others believe that fostering social connections outside the workplace is more beneficial. This essay will explore both perspectives and present a reasoned opinion.

. You have been accepted by a university in Canada. Before moving to Canada, you want to gather some information from International Officer. Write to him about your needs. In your letter • introduce yourself • inquire about accommodation options • seek information on Student Discount Card

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

Some people think that it is the responsibility of governments to take care of the environment, while others believe that it is the responsibility of the citizens. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Write a letter to the hotel making the arrangements. Let them know when you will be arriving and leaving, what type of rooms you would like, and ask them how much the weekend will cost. Also enquire about activities and places of interest near the hotel.

Some people think a job not only provides income but also social life. Others think it is better to develop social life with people you do not work with. Discuss both views and give your opinion