IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

. You have been accepted by a university in Canada. Before moving to Canada, you want to gather some information from International Officer. Write to him about your needs. In your letter • introduce yourself • inquire about accommodation options • seek information on Student Discount Card

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Hello International Officer, My name is Cassy from the country Vietnam. I have
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
 the letter of acceptance from ABC University, BC, Canada. The school year will start in September, I have 3 months to prepare for it.
Firstly
Linking Words
, as a new
student
Add a comma
student,
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 I am concerned about the accommodation. Kindly inform me
detail
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in detail
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 about the options that the university
offer
Correct subject-verb agreement
offers
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 to students. If I can choose to stay
in
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on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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campus, please let me know how to make
a
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an
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 early
registeration
Correct your spelling
registration
. And if there is no more vacancy
in
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on
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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campus, any
recommedation
Correct your spelling
recommendation
recommendations
 for renting
apartment
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an apartment
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 near
by
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apply
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the university with the budget.
Also
Linking Words
, I would like to attach the scan of my student card. If I am able to get any discount or support for health care, public transportation, student
progamms
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programmes
programme
... The
last
Linking Words
 issue, I am
appreciated
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appreciative
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 to know about
part-time
Correct article usage
the part-time
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 job policy in Canada. It
will
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would be
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 great if you
can
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could
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 inform me
some
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of some
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realiable
Correct your spelling
reliable
 sources that I can access to look for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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suitable part-time work. Looking forward
hearing
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to hearing
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 from you. Best regards, Cassy Nguyen

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coherence cohesion
Consider breaking down your paragraphs to focus on a single idea to improve clarity. For example, a separate paragraph for your inquiry about part-time job policy.
task achievement
Ensure that you proofread your letter to correct minor spelling and grammatical errors, such as "recieved" to "received" and "recommedation" to "recommendation."
task achievement
You have included all necessary information, such as your introduction, accommodation queries, and student discount card inquiries.
task achievement
The tone of the letter is polite and formal, which is suitable for a letter to an international officer.
coherence cohesion
The greeting and closing of the letter are appropriate, enhancing the overall professionalism.
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