. You have been accepted by a university in Canada. Before moving to Canada, you want to gather some information from International Officer. Write to him about your needs. In your letter • introduce yourself • inquire about accommodation options • seek information on Student Discount Card

#university #canada #information #officer #accommodation #options #student #discount #card

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Hello International Officer, My name is Cassy from the country Vietnam. I have

recieved

Correct your spelling

received

the letter of acceptance from ABC University, BC, Canada. The school year will start in September, I have 3 months to prepare for it.

Firstly

, as a new

student

Add a comma

student,

show examples

I am concerned about the accommodation. Kindly inform me

detail

Change preposition

in detail

show examples

about the options that the university

offer

Correct subject-verb agreement

offers

show examples

to students. If I can choose to stay

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

campus, please let me know how to make

Change the article

show examples

early

registeration

Correct your spelling

registration

. And if there is no more vacancy

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

campus, any

recommedation

Correct your spelling

recommendation

recommendations

for renting

apartment

Add an article

an apartment

show examples

near

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the university with the budget.

Also

, I would like to attach the scan of my student card. If I am able to get any discount or support for health care, public transportation, student

progamms

Correct your spelling

programmes

programme

... The

last

issue, I am

appreciated

Replace the word

appreciative

show examples

to know about

part-time

Correct article usage

the part-time

show examples

job policy in Canada. It

will

Wrong verb form

would be

show examples

great if you

can

Wrong verb form

could

show examples

inform me

some

Change preposition

of some

show examples

realiable

Correct your spelling

reliable

sources that I can access to look for

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

suitable part-time work. Looking forward

hearing

Change preposition

to hearing

show examples

from you. Best regards, Cassy Nguyen

Submitted by minhchau8487 on Sun Jun 23 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion

Consider breaking down your paragraphs to focus on a single idea to improve clarity. For example, a separate paragraph for your inquiry about part-time job policy.

task achievement

Ensure that you proofread your letter to correct minor spelling and grammatical errors, such as "recieved" to "received" and "recommedation" to "recommendation."

task achievement

You have included all necessary information, such as your introduction, accommodation queries, and student discount card inquiries.

task achievement

The tone of the letter is polite and formal, which is suitable for a letter to an international officer.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing of the letter are appropriate, enhancing the overall professionalism.

3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

8 paragraphs

177 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

7
band
Some people say that punishment is the best way to teach children to behave well, while others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.
Teaching good behaviour should begin in childhood. There are many ways to teach. While punishing children could lead to trauma, teaching them what is good or bad would lead to better outcomes.
7.5
band
Technologies like AI and Robotics are automating many human jobs and helping to maximize company profits. However, this may result in a new wave of mass unemployment and the government should step in to regulate these fields. Discuss arguments for both sides and give your opinion.
Advances in technology and automation have become a vital topic of debate. While some people believe that these kinds of technological developments can result in the increase of companies' profits, others would argue that this trend leads to a variety of unemployment, across the globe. Both sides of the argument highlight compelling reasons which will be discussed, followed by my own perspective.
5
band
A good friend has just changed schools and is having difficulty fitting in and needs your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • make suggestions as to how they could make friends • suggest joining clubs, participating in school activities • give any extra general advice
I hope this letter finds you well, I'm writing to give you some advices that help you become a social person.
4.5
band
Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Some people are under impression that travellers to other country ought to pursue local customs and behaviour. Contrary, another idea told that the householder must show the hospitality and accept another culture.
6.5
band
One of your friends wants to apply for a job at a summer school as a sports trainer. Write a letter to the camp manager to recommend your friend. In you letter: Say how well you know your friend Describe the qualifications and experience that your friend has Explain why your friend would be suitable for this job.
I am writing this letter to recommend to you my friend for a job at this port trainer in our summer school camp. I know her very well because we completed our academy and college education together. Moreover, She is a very intelligent, diligent, considerate, and dedicated person. She always won prizes and sports competitions in school. We understand each other easily. our friendship is really indestructible.

. You have been accepted by a university in Canada. Before moving to Canada, you want to gather some information from International Officer. Write to him about your needs. In your letter • introduce yourself • inquire about accommodation options • seek information on Student Discount Card

Some people say that punishment is the best way to teach children to behave well, while others disagree and point out that rewarding and praising them is better. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Technologies like AI and Robotics are automating many human jobs and helping to maximize company profits. However, this may result in a new wave of mass unemployment and the government should step in to regulate these fields. Discuss arguments for both sides and give your opinion.

A good friend has just changed schools and is having difficulty fitting in and needs your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter • make suggestions as to how they could make friends • suggest joining clubs, participating in school activities • give any extra general advice

Some people believe that visitors to other countries should follow local customs and behaviour. Others disagree and think that the host country should welcome cultural differences. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.