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Band 5

The plans below show the ground floor of a library in 2001 and how it was redeveloped in 2009.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The maps demonstrate the upgrade of the ground floor of the library over the period of 8 years , starting in 2001. Looking from an
overall
 perspective,
it is clear that
 the ground floor witnessed a significant modernization. Most noticeable are the change in the outline of the centre table rows, the increase in bookshelf categories and the introduction of computers. As observed, in the centre of the library, 4 rows comprising 8 square tables in 2001 were converted to 4 rectangle tables. On the right of the tables, newspapers and periodicals were switched to the Films and DVDs shelf. On the left-hand side, there was a rise in the topic of books which became more varied.
Moreover
, the expansion of the bookshelf was
also
 noticeable with the appearance of fiction, kitchen, economics, and law.
In addition
, the computers were erected to the east of the floor and to the south of a
films
Fix the agreement mistake
film
show examples
 &
DVDs
Fix the agreement mistake
DVD
show examples
 shelf.
Next,
the fiction shelf in the north of the library was replaced by an enormous table. The children’s area was established and placed to the north of the centre table rows.
Furthermore
, the librarian’s desk, stairs and the entrance remained constant.
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introduction conclusion present
Your introduction is clear, but you can add a concluding statement to summarize your analysis.
logical structure
To enhance coherence, try using more transitional phrases to better link different parts of your essay.
relevant specific examples
You might want to provide more specific details about the exact locations of some of the new features, like the computers and children's area, to make your response even richer.
complete response
You have provided a thorough comparison and shown how the library floor was redeveloped, which demonstrates a clear understanding of the changes.
clear comprehensive ideas
The variety in sentence structures and vocabulary is commendable, making the essay engaging to read.
supported main points
The description of changes is specific and accurate, showing attention to detail.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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