Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
contemporary
Add an article
the contemporary
a contemporary
show examples
world a big part of society believes that our knowledge is
showed
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
by how successful we are,
however
Linking Words
, others think that it can be demonstrated in multiple ways. In my opinion, intelligence can be measured in different options, we should not demonstrate victory for being clever. I think so because success does not always mean
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
ability to think, and
also
Linking Words
because of how
easy
Change the word
easily
show examples
we can gain something without any brain
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, nowadays if you have a good job, money or something else that a simple person could just dream about, it can show that you are just lucky. In most cases, without
ability
Add an article
the ability
show examples
of rational thinking our glory means nothing.
For example
Linking Words
, my uncle is a very successful person, he has money, a big car and a wonderful house, but it does not mean that he has enough intelligence to reach it all.
Exist other
Verb problem
Other
show examples
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
did all his work and he just used it
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
his
personally
Change the adverb
personal
show examples
achievements. Under
this
Linking Words
circumstance, we can understand that not always success shows our smartness.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it is really easy to cheat or to steal ideas from someone smart.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, if
this
Linking Words
person is capable, we can just copy in
the
Change the article
an
show examples
exact way everything they do. In brief, we can have glory just because someone else was not attentive and we just steal it.
Moreover
Linking Words
, to have victory does not mean that we do everything by ourselves, in most
cases
Add a comma
cases,
show examples
people just steal success from someone else.
For instance
Linking Words
, my classmate cheated on the test and had a good mark.
In other words
Linking Words
, he became well educated for her by stealing from others and my teacher thinks now that he is a clever student. In conclusion, I think that smartness is something that can be measured in different options and our wins
does
Change the verb form
do
show examples
not show
capacity
Add an article
the capacity
show examples
of thinking
Change preposition
to think
show examples
. To know something deep inside and to leave it just for us means much more than our realizations.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Improve the clarity of your main argument and make sure it directly addresses the prompt. More explicit connections between your points and the statement should be made.
coherence and cohesion
Work on linking your ideas more effectively. Use cohesive devices to help the reader follow your reasoning and ensure that your paragraphs flow smoothly into one another.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or further develop the existing examples to strengthen your argument. This will enhance the persuasive power and depth of your essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear opinion on the topic and attempts to make an argument against measuring intelligence solely by success.
coherence and cohesion
Efforts are made to structure your essay with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, indicating an understanding of essay organization.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • measure
  • intelligence
  • success
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • adaptability
  • emotional intelligence
  • creativity
  • practical skills
  • standardized testing
  • academic performance
  • capabilities
  • potential
  • privilege
  • correlate
  • hard work
What to do next:
Look at other essays: