IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people think that success is the best measure for intelligence, while others think that intelligence can be measured in other ways. What is your opinion?

Some believe that success is the main indicator of brilliance,
while
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 others argue that intellect should be assessed through different methods. I don’t agree with both affirmations, but there are some
things
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 to be discussed. Sometimes a person reaches their top agility by passing a
lot
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 of problems and lessons;
however
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, some
people
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 are not intelligent in everything, but in certain
things
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, they are unstoppable. The first reason to support
this
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 view is that some
people
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 reach their
intelligence
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 by passing through a
lot
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 of problems and lessons. And
that is
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 why, when you pass through a
lot
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 of obstacles, they remember what the problem was at that time, and after that, they think about how not to make the same mistake again. They think a
lot
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, and because of it, they develop a
lot
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 of knowledge.
Moreover
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, you can improve your
intelligence
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 can be reached by teaching and studying a
lot
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 in school or university, but nowadays these institutions do not prepare for
intelligence
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 for the future.
For example
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, when I was young, I sold Apple devices, but without knowing how to sell, I lost a
lot
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 of money. After brainstorming what I should do, I developed my
intelligence
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 on how to sell better. The second reason that I want to support is that there are
people
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 who are not intelligent in everything, but in certain
things
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, they are unstoppable. A
lot
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 of
people
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 find their path by nowhere. It is You do not need to be intelligent in everything; all you should do is find your own way to
intelligence
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.
For example
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, Bill Gates, even though he wasn’t the best in school or university, now has the most expensive company in the world.
To sum up
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, being intelligent is good, but not every time your
intelligence
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 can help you in the most difficult situations.
Besides
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this
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, you need to have in your arsenal
next
Correct article usage
the next
show examples
things
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:
Punctuation problem
:
show examples
 team spirit, persuasiveness, and so on.
This
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 is the agility, but not the
things
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 you learn at school.

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Task response
State your view clearly in the first lines and stay with it.
Coherence and cohesion
Keep ideas in order: one idea per paragraph, with a clear link from one to the next.
Coherence and cohesion
Use simple linking words like first, then, also, but, finally.
Examples
Give one real example and show how it proves your point.
Content strength
The essay shows you try to use examples.
Structure
There is an intro and a conclusion.
Idea range
You discuss ideas about different kinds of intelligence.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • measure
  • intelligence
  • success
  • critical thinking
  • problem-solving
  • adaptability
  • emotional intelligence
  • creativity
  • practical skills
  • standardized testing
  • academic performance
  • capabilities
  • potential
  • privilege
  • correlate
  • hard work
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