Some people say that when deciding how taxes should be spent, the government should prioritize healthcare. Others say that there are more important priorities to spend the taxpayers' money. Discuss both views and give your own opinions.
I totally agree that healthcare should be the priority regarding
on
how Change preposition
apply
government
spend Correct article usage
the government
taxes
.
First and foremost, the money that citizens
have paid regularly should be used to help citizens
themselves. There are different groups of people
in a country based on their financial status, hence
taxes
act as a tool to substitute and help the poorer citizens
through government
regulations on taxes
. Public facilities are also
important due to
people
's convenient
in public Replace the word
convenience
area
, but in my Fix the agreement mistake
areas
opinion
Add a comma
opinion,
besides
the urge to give people
those facilities, health issue is a fundamental aspect to fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
people
desires Change noun form
people's
on
their security. Not many Change preposition
for
people
can pay for the medical bills due to
the high rates of it.
Secondly
, providing people
with good healthcare facilities would enhance citizens
' trust toward
Change preposition
in
Government
Institutions. For example
in Indonesia, a lot of medical issues such
as inadequate of
health tools in Change preposition
apply
hospital
and Fix the agreement mistake
hospitals
the
poor management lead to chaotic Correct article usage
apply
system
in medical Fix the agreement mistake
systems
institution
. Many Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
people
refuse to pay their taxes
hence
unsatisfied situation
happened before. There are a lot of bad cases related to poor management Fix the agreement mistake
situations
happened
in medical Verb problem
apply
service
that lead to negative impact Fix the agreement mistake
services
from
Change preposition
on
people
toward Government
Institutions. This
condition gives
a huge impact on how Verb problem
has
people
starting
to Wrong verb form
start
questioning
and decide to stop paying Replace the word
question
the
Correct article usage
apply
taxes
. Meanwhile, a country with proper tools and good management experience very stable condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
hence
citizens
' satisfaction.
In conclusion, providing a good medical service will lead to a stable country because of people
's willingness to contribute on
paying Change preposition
by
taxes
because it already being the
part of their needs.Change the article
apply
Submitted by rose on
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introduction conclusion present
Include a clear introduction that introduces the topic and outlines your argument. This gives the reader a roadmap of what to expect in your essay.
relevant specific examples
Provide more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. This not only clarifies your points but also makes your argument more persuasive.
logical structure
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and is well-supported with evidence or examples. This will improve the logical structure and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both views and presents a clear opinion, which is essential for task achievement.
clear comprehensive ideas
The main points are clear and relevant to the topic, showing a good understanding of the issue.
supported main points
Effort was made to provide reasons and examples for the opinions stated, indicating an attempt to support the main points discussed.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example