Some people think that importing movies and TV programmes from other countries is better for country . Others think that it is better to produce these locally. Do you agree or disagree?
some
people
prefer to Implement television
programmes and series from countries
other than the local country while
some people
argue about inserting this
television
satellite
. in this
essay, I will explain both perspectives and express my opinion.
Firstly
, implementing these television
shows can contribute to improving the awareness of citizens. Furthermore
, inserting these can assist in broadening the horizon knowledge of residents. For instance
, a lot of people
learn their foreign language from watching these television
satellites
. Some of these channels have a huge variety which could be delightful and interesting for some people
besides
learning about various cultures and religions.
Secondly
, some people
who advocate for local television
programmes believe other country television
satellites
could carry a variable on the mentality of society. However
, the implementation of these programmes has great effects on the culture, therefore
, some countries
prohibit the presence of these shows, alongside the impact on religions. for example
, there are government laws in some countries
about restrictions on the insertion of these satellites
that can instil strange thoughts in the child and the society.
In conclusion, I fully agree with the implementation of these satellites
from different countries
. some countries
encourage the presence of this
satellite
satellite
because it can make a development in the way residents and children think and acquire different languages. while
some countries
banned of existence of this
satellite
which could cause changes in society's values and principles.Submitted by rraghad.b on
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grammar
Ensure that you proofread your essay for grammatical errors and cohesiveness. There are several grammar issues, such as 'Implement' instead of 'implementing,' 'satellites' which is not clearly defined, and 'insertion of these satellites.'
content development
Develop your points further with more specific examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, you mention learning a foreign language from TV shows but don't provide a specific example or a detailed explanation.
clarity
Focus on avoiding repetition and redundancy. For example, 'television satellites' and 'insertion of these satellites' seem repetitive and unclear. You could replace 'satellites' with 'programmes' or 'shows' for clarity.
organization
Organize the main points in a more structured way to improve the overall coherence. You have the arguments but they can be arranged better to show a clearer progression of ideas.
structure
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, which nicely frame your arguments.
balanced presentation
You present both perspectives of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.
task response
Your essay addresses the task prompt effectively and provides a comprehensive response.
Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.
‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.
Examples:
I really want to study but I’m too tired.
I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.
If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.
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