some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve mind, such as doing word puzzles or reading. Other feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #leisure #time #activities #mind #word #puzzles #rest

The debate over how to

utulize

Correct your spelling

utilize

utilise

free

time

is an ongoing one,

while

some

people

believe in free

time

it is better to enhance cognitive ability by doing

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

for

instance

Change preposition

apply

show examples

studying or playing, others argue that it should be reserved for relaxing the mind. I agree with the former

view point

Correct your spelling

viewpoint

show examples

of utilizing free

time

. We have foreseen,all types of work

demands

Change the verb form

demand

show examples

either physical or mental

labor

Change the spelling

labour

show examples

or both often.

As a result

,Individuals

Wrong verb form

are

show examples

mostly physically or mentally drained,

In addition

, body

ache

Fix the agreement mistake

aches

show examples

, burnout and work pressure could potentially be seen.

Furthermore

such

pressure can easily damage physical or mental health.

For

instance

, My friend

ram

Capitalize word

Ram

show examples

working as a surgeon even on

sundays

Change the capitalization

Sundays

show examples

and

saturdays

Change the capitalization

Saturdays

show examples

hardly gets

time

even for his basic personal

acitivity

Correct your spelling

activities

.In conclusion, because of the exhaustion and demanding nature of

job

Correct article usage

the job

show examples

mostly

Correct your spelling

most

show examples

people

do not prefer, to do any other activity in their spare

time

; they rather opt

for giving

Change preposition

to give

show examples

rest to their minds.

on the other hand

, some

people

do have less stressful jobs,

for

instance

for

instance

, Business owners who have

lot

Change the article

a lot

show examples

staffs

Fix the agreement mistake

staff

show examples

working under them for them,

such

people

quite often find spare

time

as they have

mnagers

Correct your spelling

managers

to look after their work.

This

is to say, they could easily

engaged

Change the verb form

engage

show examples

themselves in sports or recreational

activity

Fix the agreement mistake

activities

show examples

alone or with family.

For example

, My father after assigning duties to other members

prefer

Correct subject-verb agreement

prefers

show examples

travelling places in

free

Correct pronoun usage

his free

show examples

time

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

to improve and stimulate his brain functioning. In conclusion, I believe if one does have

less

Correct article usage

a less

show examples

stressful

jobs

Fix the agreement mistake

job

show examples

must choose to utilize, leisure

time

doing some

acitivity

Correct your spelling

activity

which

Change preposition

show examples

result

Correct article usage

a result

show examples

, will improve his mind.

Submitted by piratijaiswal1992 on Sun Jun 23 2024

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coherence cohesion

Try to structure your essay more logically. Use separate paragraphs for each main point and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetition and redundancy. For example, there's repetition in the phrase 'for instance, for instance.'

task achievement

Ensure all examples are directly relevant and meaningful to the point you are discussing. The example of the business owner isn't fully elaborated.

grammar

Improve grammatical accuracy. For example, 'utulize' should be 'utilize', 'mnagers' should be 'managers', and 'acitivity' should be 'activity.'

coherence cohesion

Your introduction is clear and directly addresses the essay question, setting a clear scope for the discussion.

task achievement

You included specific examples to support your points, which adds depth to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

272 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

cognitive abilities
mental stagnation
intellectually stimulating
relaxation
meditation
stress reduction
overall well-being
personal development
life satisfaction
sense of achievement
emotional balance
peace of mind
scientific evidence
memory
learning
creativity
emotional regulation

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some people think that it is important to use leisure time for activities that improve mind, such as doing word puzzles or reading. Other feel that it is important to rest the mind during leisure time. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people think that the teenagers should concentrate all subjects at school. Others believe that teenagers should focus on the subject they are best at or they are most interested in. To what extend do you agree?

As countries develop, many people are able to purchase a car. Do you think that the advantages for the individual outweigh the disadvantages for the environment?

In the modern society, young people have a tendency of postponing their parenthood until late 30's or even early 40's. This essay shall deal with the reasons for this phenomenon and the effects this has on the families and societies.