Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. Write at least 250 words.

There is a contradictory debate surrounding the benefits and drawbacks of charging museum visits.
While
some highlight the significant role the received money can play in maintaining and improving the
overall
condition of the
museums
, others claim that admissions can discourage the interested but less privileged individuals from visiting; which I, personally, believe pales in comparison with its potential benefits. On the bright side, charging visitors with admissions can provide the museum with a reliable budget to invest in maintaining the facilities and upgrading its
overall
quality. It goes without saying that the more financially secure one organization is, the higher-quality service it provides.
Museums
,
for example
, can spend on programs or visual aids
such
as video clips and booklets to educate the visitors on what they exhibit.
However
, a fall in the total number of visits can be anticipated
due to
charging for admission. Since many interested individuals are not privileged enough to afford the set price, they will,
subsequently
, give up on visiting
museums
. The loss of the passionate yet
less-fortunate
Correct your spelling
less fortunate
show examples
,
therefore
, can be considered as a potential risk.
In other words
, a notable population of people would be deprived of the experience and,
consequently
,
museums
would be prone to losing public popularity.
This
,
however
, can be addressed by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
putting the collected budget into good use. Meaning,
the
Correct word choice
that the
show examples
authorities can provide some free tour opportunities for the underprivileged people who show enthusiasm towards the visit but are not able to afford the price.
Also
, having a reliable source of money will allow the
museums
to plan free educational programs so that the enthusiastic community can enjoy learning more about the history. In conclusion, considering the probable advantages and disadvantages of setting
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
admission for
museums
, it is obvious that its merits both
outweighs
Change the verb form
outweigh
show examples
and
resolves
Correct subject-verb agreement
resolve
show examples
the drawbacks as the collected money can be used to improve the
overall
status of the museum
as well as
offering free courses for the
less-fortunate
Correct your spelling
less fortunate
show examples
.
Submitted by TUTOO on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Try to include more specific examples to support your arguments. This will strengthen your points and demonstrate a better understanding of the topic.
coherence cohesion
Consider making your transitions between paragraphs smoother. This can help improve the flow of your essay and maintain the reader's interest.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly sets out the debate and presents your own stance, which is well-maintained throughout the essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear and logical structure with well-defined paragraphs, each addressing a specific point.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: