IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

task 1: The illustrations show how chocolate is produced.

#illustrations #show #chocolate
The diagram depicts the process of how
chocolate
 is made up.
Overall
, the
chocolate
 consists of ten stages beginning with
cacao
Correct article usage
the cacao
show examples
 tree which has grown in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 countries
such
 as
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
South America, Africa, and Indonesia and ending with liquid black
chocolate
.
Firstly
, The Cacao tree implanted in
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 nations like
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
South America, Africa, and Indonesia left grown until it produces ripe red pods.
Next,
it gets harvested which holds white cocoa beans visible after breaking into two. Again, those beans undergo
fermentation
Correct article usage
a fermentation
show examples
 process by spreading it under
sun
Add an article
the sun
show examples
 till gets dry on the tray.
Moreover
, all beans
put
Add a missing verb
are put
show examples
 in
large
Add an article
the large
show examples
sack
Fix the agreement mistake
sacks
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 and
transports
Wrong verb form
transported
show examples
 by train or lorry to
factory
Add an article
the factory
show examples
 for
further
process
Replace the word
processing
show examples
. Moving
next,
after
taken
Add a missing verb
being taken
show examples
 into
factory
Correct article usage
the factory
show examples
 which has
then
 roasted
about
Change preposition
at about
show examples
 350 Celsius under heat in
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 big container.
Then
,
bean
Correct article usage
the bean
show examples
crushed
Add a missing verb
is crushed
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 through the fast spin wheel where the outer shell
removed
Add a missing verb
is removed
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 and the inner part
transferred
Add a missing verb
is transferred
show examples
 into another
chunner
Correct your spelling
channel
churner
.
Finally
, after grinding and pressing by using 2 stone wheels the liquid
chocolate
then
 released.
Submitted by kiruthikakannan.pid on

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General
To improve clarity, ensure subject-verb agreement and proper verb forms throughout the essay.
General
Focus on using a wider range of vocabulary and complex structures to boost the level of writing.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to provide more cohesive devices to link the stages more clearly, such as 'subsequently,' 'following this,' etc.
Task Achievement
End your essay with a concluding sentence to better encapsulate the entire process.
Task Achievement
The essay successfully presents a complete response by covering all stages of the chocolate production process.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical sequence of the essay is generally strong, and the main points are well-supported.
Task Achievement
Specific details about the locations where cacao trees are grown and the roasting temperature are included, adding depth to the description.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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