Some believe that technology has made our life easy, while others think that it leads to negative effects. Please, discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays,
technology
became
Wrong verb form
has become
show examples
a basic necessity.
People
can't work something nothing
Rewrite the sentence
can't work something anything
can work something nothing
show examples
using
technology
.
Moreover
,
technology
also
give
Verb problem
has
show examples
negative effects.
This
Change preposition
In this
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essay, I will discuss both views about
effect
Add an article
the effect
show examples
for
Change preposition
of
show examples
technology
. On the one hand, the
sopphisticated
Correct your spelling
sophisticated
advance of
technology
can give more valuable benefits for all users. There are some products of
technology
like
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
, mobile
handphone
Fix the agreement mistake
handphones
show examples
and
laptop
Fix the agreement mistake
laptops
show examples
. First is
business
Correct article usage
the business
show examples
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
show examples
.
Technology
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
some
people
to finish working effectively like
to communicate
Change the verb form
communicating
show examples
,
record
Wrong verb form
recording
show examples
, audit and It can integrated with all
people
around
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the world nothing meeting directly.
Secondly
is
education
Correct article usage
the education
show examples
sectors
Fix the agreement mistake
sector
show examples
, It is as media teach and learn so both
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
teachers and students can access more knowledge via
technology
. Next in
society
Replace the word
social
show examples
sectors, It can
use
Wrong verb form
be used
show examples
to
gathering
Replace the word
gather
show examples
,
meeting
Replace the word
meet
show examples
and discussion between netizens.
For example
, the leader of
village
Add an article
the village
a village
show examples
can share more information via mobile handphone.
Lastly
,
technology
also
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
development
Correct article usage
the development
show examples
a
Change preposition
of a
show examples
country.
For instance
, the government offer services in offices, public
transportations
Fix the agreement mistake
transportation
show examples
, public facilities and others.
Because the
Correct word choice
The
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progress of a country can be seen
from
Change preposition
in
show examples
how every
regions
Change to a singular noun
region
show examples
can access
technology
easily.
On the other hand
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
technology
also
give
Verb problem
has
show examples
dangerous effects
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
for
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation. Because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
everyone can use
technology
whenever and wherever
their
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
want.
First
Add an article
The first
show examples
negative cause is
educational
Replace the word
education
show examples
. Most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
teenagers start
change
Fix the infinitive
to change
show examples
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
adults when they have met with a new
environtment
Correct your spelling
environment
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
show examples
in school.
For example
,
usually
Add a comma
usually,
show examples
students have a community in school and
frequent
Change the word
frequently
show examples
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
negative
activites
Correct your spelling
activities
so
Correct word choice
that
show examples
disturbing
Wrong verb form
disturb
show examples
other
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
Secondly
, every student has
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
media social like
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
show examples
,
facebook
Capitalize word
Facebook
show examples
and tiktok even illegal
website
Fix the agreement mistake
websites
show examples
. It's not uncommon
,
Change preposition
for, young
show examples
young
Correct article usage
the young
show examples
generation
use
Fix the infinitive
to use
show examples
technology
dont
Verb problem
apply
show examples
related
with
Change preposition
to
show examples
their age.
For instance
, children access pornography
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
. My perspective,
technology
can be positive and can
be
Verb problem
have
show examples
negative results
depends
Wrong verb form
depending
show examples
on the
people
. So, the government have to block every negative website and collaborate with
NGO
Fix the agreement mistake
NGOs
show examples
,
institution
Fix the agreement mistake
institutions
show examples
,
Correct word choice
and community
show examples
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
to educate about
technology
.
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task achievement
Try to ensure a clearer and more formal introduction. For example, you could start with: 'In today's world, technology has become an essential element of our daily lives. Some believe that it has made our lives easier, while others argue that it has brought about negative consequences. This essay will discuss both perspectives and offer my own opinion on the matter.'
coherence cohesion
Your essay needs a stronger conclusion to reiterate your viewpoints and summarize the key points. This can help reinforce your argument effectively.
task achievement
Try to provide more concrete and specific examples to support your points, as this will add depth to your essay.
coherence cohesion
There are several language inaccuracies that can make the essay difficult to understand. Consider revising sentences for clarity and correctness. Engaging in more practice and reviewing grammar rules could help.
task achievement
You have successfully discussed both sides of the argument, demonstrating an understanding of multiple perspectives.
coherence cohesion
Your essay presents a logical flow, moving from one sector impacted by technology to another.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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