Some people believe that it is a good idea that old people continue to work if it is possible for them to do so Do you agree or disagree?
It has been frequently argued that at
retirement
age
, older people
should not keep on working. Whilst, some believe opine that continue to work
will bring several positive benefits on the lives elderly. In this
essay, I would like to, shed light on both perspectives along with
my opinion in the upcoming paragraphs.
On the one hand, older people
who continue working past retirement
age
can continue to maintain their mental health and well-being and reduce the pressure on society to support those who can no longer work
. First of all, after retirement
, retirees who live alone offer
suffer from boredom and loneliness. Add the particle
offer to
This
can lead to declining mental health. To solve this
issue, letting the elderly join the workforce can help them find joy at work
. What's more, businesses can also
advantages from this
development as they can have experienced employees and cut training costs for newly hired staff who are oftentimes inexperienced at work
. Secondly
, older people
who continue working can save the government a part of the monthly subsidy for retirees, which can be allocated to build and improve the country’s infrastructure.
However
, allowing older people
to work
can put younger out of work
if older workers are allowed to keep jobs for a very long time, the young generation will not be able to get jobs. One good example of this
there are more workers over the age
of 60 in Vietnam, especially in the education industry. This
is happening because older workers refuse to retire and the retirement
age
is rather high, therefore
millions of younger people
fail to find jobs in all major Vietnam.
In conclusion, personally, having older people
who are physically and mentally fit at work
is a positive development. This
is due to
the various advantages that it brings to the individuals, the businesses, and the society as a whole.Submitted by quynhtranhbh on
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introduction conclusion present
Ensure that your introduction clearly outlines both perspectives and avoid redundant phrases like 'I would like to shed light on both perspectives' which can be more concise.
relevant specific examples
To bolster your arguments, you should consider providing more specific and diverse examples. Try to avoid overgeneralizing or relying on a single example for an entire argument.
logical structure
It is essential to maintain a clear and logical structure for improved readability. For instance, explicitly state your opinion at the end of your introduction and consistently align your arguments with it.
logical structure
Ensure smooth transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the readability of your essay.
introduction conclusion present
The essay provides a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in framing the discussion.
clear comprehensive ideas
You have successfully articulated both perspectives, which showcases a balanced approach to the issue.
complete response
Your main arguments address multiple facets of the topic, including mental well-being, the economy, and the impact on society.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
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