In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #enrol #university #situation

Nowadays, in some nations, there are increasing amount of students are

participanting

Correct your spelling

participating

work

training rather than

attend

Wrong verb form

attending

show examples

college. In my opinion,

this

tendency

Change noun form

tendency's

show examples

advantages

outweight

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outweigh

disadvantages

Correct article usage

the disadvantages

show examples

since young

indviduals

Correct your spelling

individuals

have to take certain gaps

year

for

learning

Wrong verb form

learn

show examples

practical skills. If high school students

are immediately enroll

Change the verb form

are immediately enrolled

show examples

in university

while

they finish their school

year

, it can lead to no

work

experiences

Fix the agreement mistake

experience

show examples

when they apply for a job

then

Correct word choice

and then

show examples

they complete

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

college.

This

is because of

company

Add an article

the company

a company

show examples

are more

Verb problem

apply

show examples

prefer

Correct subject-verb agreement

prefers

show examples

fresh-graduate who

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

at least two to three years

experience

Change preposition

of experience

show examples

work

intenship

Correct your spelling

internship

internships

Thus

, employment history

is boost

Change the verb form

boosts

show examples

your image and

have

Verb problem

gives you

show examples

a chance to take on better job opportunities.

For example

, when scares of a robustness and persuasive employment experiences you are not eligible to

work

for

well-establish

Correct your spelling

well-established

show examples

organizations. If you take a gap

year

before attending educational institutions for

work

, it can benefit your later

Change preposition

apply

show examples

university life and career prospection. it is because you can gain

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

knowledge and experience meanwhile can tought about career path and preparation for the future.

Moreover

, young people are too young to make a career decision and school major decision,

therefore

they should take time to find

thier

Correct your spelling

their

substainable

Correct your spelling

sustainable

hobby and the things that

interested

Correct pronoun usage

they interested

show examples

in.

For instance

those

Change preposition

for those

show examples

who take a come back after

work

the student will

bacome

Correct your spelling

become

more mature and

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

Correct article usage

a clearly

show examples

clearly

Change the adverb

clear

show examples

idea for later on.

Change preposition

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

result,

those kind

Change the determiner

that kind

those kinds

show examples

of people can attain promising

future

Fix the agreement mistake

futures

show examples

in their

adults

Change to a genitive case

adult's

adults'

show examples

life.

Change preposition

show examples

conclusion, even though straightforwardly working after the senior

year

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

can waste

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time

to involve

Change the verb form

involved

show examples

in college but i still believe that

take

Wrong verb form

taking

show examples

a gaps

year

before

attenading

Correct your spelling

attending

university is

Correct article usage

a more

show examples

mature

dicision

Correct your spelling

decision

because it can has

Change the article

apply

show examples

time to consider and

found

Wrong verb form

find

show examples

what is really come

form

Correct your spelling

from

show examples

our mind.

Submitted by haixiuxiaonini on Mon Jun 24 2024

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grammar

Work on grammatical accuracy and sentence structure to improve clarity. Some sentences are difficult to understand due to grammatical errors.

content

Include more relevant and specific examples to support your arguments. This will make your essay more convincing.

coherence

Improve the transition between ideas to enhance the overall flow of the essay. This will help in maintaining the reader's interest and understanding.

structure

The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in understanding the main argument.

content

You have provided several reasons to support your viewpoint, demonstrating a logical approach to the topic.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

Introduction
Body paragraph 1 – advantages
Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

The main advantage is...
The disadvantage of this...
The main benefit...
Despite these advantages...
One possible drawback...

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
46Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

work-based training
enrol
university
advantages
disadvantages
practical skills
experience
workforce
employment
earnings
opportunities
further education
theoretical knowledge
career options
exploitation
balance

What to do next:

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In some countries there are more young people choosing to enrol in work-based training instead of attending university. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

In many countries, small shops are closing. Give your reasons about this. Is it positive or negative? Give examples from your knowledge and experience

in many countries, more and more young people are leaving school and unable to find jobs after graduation. What problems do you think youth unemployment will cause to the individual and society?give reasons and make some suggestions.

It is unacceptable that people who work in certain professions,eg.finance,media, entertainment and sport,are paid such high salaries while others, who do more important jobs in society,are underpaid. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries, a few people earn extremely high salaries. Some people think that this is good for a country , while others believe the government should control salaries and limit the amount people can earn. Discuss both views and give your opinion.