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Writing Samples
Band 7

Some people believe that to be a successful sportsperson, one needs to have a natural ability. Others think that hard work and practice are more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #sportsperson #ability #work #practice
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Sports
 is a very useful kind of activity. Many
people
 love it and make a huge effort to be a successful sportsperson. But after all, there are two points of view. Some
people
 consider that the main role in becoming a successful sportsperson is playing a natural
ability
,
while
 others believe that everyone can achieve great results through hard work and practice. In
this
 essay, I will discuss both views and give my opinion
at the end
.
To begin
 with, it's impossible to imagine that some
people
 without natural
ability
 could make a new world record at the Olympic Games or become a legend in the NBA. Usain Bolt and Maikle Jordan are the best examples of it.
To begin
 with, it's impossible to imagine that some
people
 without natural
ability
 could make a new world record at the Olympic Games or become a legend in the NBA. Usain Bolt and Maikle Jordan are the best examples of it. But they
also
 do hard work and practice every day. Without these efforts, champions don'
t
 achieve anything as they just don'
t
 develop their natural
ability
. On the other side, there are many cases when ordinary sportsmen how don'
t
 have any innate abilities and become successful. They don'
t
 have
strengh
Correct your spelling
strength
 and power for nature. For them, it took more time to become a sportsman. But in the end, through discipline and huge effort
such
people
 achieve their goal.
Moreover
, we shouldn'
t
 forget about the fact that there are so many
sports
 starting from running and swimming and ending with chess. Everyone could find in
this
 variety some
sports
 where they have a natural
ability
. In conclusion, I want to say that there are too many factors in a way to be a successful sportsperson: self-discipline, natural abilities, motivation, environment and others. In the end, it depends on a person if she or he really likes doing
sports
 or not.
Submitted by andreidiakov2100 on

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task achievement
In the introduction, clearly state your stance to provide the reader with a clear direction of your essay. It’s excellent that you promised to discuss both views and give your opinion. However, more clarity can help in adhering to task achievement criteria.
coherence cohesion
Ensure to avoid repetition of ideas. For example, the point about natural ability was repeated in two different sections. Maintaining distinct and well-rounded ideas is crucial for strong coherence and cohesion.
coherence cohesion
Work on improving the logical flow of ideas. The transition between mentioning Usain Bolt and Michael Jordan to stating hard work is essential still needs more fluidity. Also, merging some repetitive sentences might benefit the essay’s structure.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion summarizes the essay well and brings together various viewpoints effectively. It ties back to the main topic, encompassing your personal opinion.
supported main points
You provided relevant and specific examples like Usain Bolt and Michael Jordan that enhance the explanation for natural ability being crucial for success in sports.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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