Some people believe that success in life depends on hard work and determination, while others think that other factors, such as money and luck, play a more important role. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Success
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is a concept that means different things to different people. Some argue that hard work and determination are the key drivers of
success
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,
while
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others believe that external factors
such
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as wealth and
luck
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play a more significant role.
This
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essay will discuss both perspectives before presenting my viewpoint. On one side, hard work and perseverance are often seen as essential qualities for achieving
success
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. Many successful
individuals
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, particularly in fields like sports, business, and science, attribute their achievements to years of dedication and persistence.
For example
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, Hong Kong athletes
such
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as Serah Lee and Vivian Kong train relentlessly, refining their skills through sheer effort.
Additionally
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, determination enables
individuals
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to overcome obstacles and setbacks. Entrepreneurs like Bill Gates and Steve Jobs faced multiple failures but persisted, ultimately revolutionizing their industries. These cases illustrate that consistent effort and resilience can pave the way to remarkable
success
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.
However
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, some believe that money and
luck
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are more decisive factors. Financial resources provide access to top-tier education, better business opportunities, and influential networks, all of which can significantly enhance one’s chances of
success
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.
For instance
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, many affluent
individuals
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have the advantage of capital to invest in startups, reducing the risk of financial failure.
Similarly
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,
luck
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can sometimes place
individuals
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in favourable circumstances. A talented musician might go unnoticed for years, but a single viral video could shoot him to fame overnight. In my opinion,
while
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money and
luck
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can provide a head start, they are not substitutes for effort and perseverance. Many
individuals
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from privileged backgrounds fail despite having resources,
while
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countless self-made
individuals
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rise through sheer determination.
Therefore
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,
while
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external factors may offer advantages, long-term
success
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is ultimately built on hard work, resilience, and the ability to seize opportunities.

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task achievement
Consider adding more specific examples to support each point. This could enhance the depth of your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-structured, but using more varied linking words could improve the flow between your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
The essay presents a clear introduction and a well-defined conclusion, effectively summarizing your viewpoint.
task achievement
You have successfully discussed both viewpoints before stating your own opinion, which is a strong approach for this type of essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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