Most people believe money is a very important consideration when choosing a job as it can help you get a better lifestyle; however, there are some who believe it is more important to have a job you enjoy and that this, and not money, will lead to greater happiness and a more balanced personal life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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Many people believe

money

Use synonyms

is a very important consideration when choosing a

job

Use synonyms

as it can help you get a better lifestyle;

however

Linking Words

, there are some who believe it is more important to have a

job

Use synonyms

you enjoy and that

this

Linking Words

, and not

money

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, will lead to greater happiness and a more balanced personal life , I will discuss the reasons and I will give my opinion .

Money

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is important for all of us owning so we can not live without

money

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, nowadays we should pay for everything so it is so necessary to keep

money

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in our wallets and for me I see it is so important to choose a

job

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with

a higher

Correct the article-noun agreement

higher salary results

a higher salary result

show examples

salary

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results from the higher

salary

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I will live an ordinary life and I will pay anything I want

in addition

Linking Words

my dream to become a millionaire woman

Secondly

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, in my view and to some extent having a

job

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you enjoy

also

Linking Words

is important

due to

Linking Words

you will succeed with it more because you will feel happy and comfortable with it , but mostly jobs like

this

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do not give you enough

salary

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so for me I will choose a

job

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given me a high

salary

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To sum up

Linking Words

, I could say that

money

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is really important more than having fun

while

Linking Words

you are working owning to your future life if you want to be successful and a millionaire you have to work hard and stay focused on your

job

Use synonyms

albaikhoorMon Jun 24 2024

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task achievement

Try to provide more specific examples to support your points. Examples will help to illustrate your ideas more clearly and make your arguments more compelling.

coherence cohesion

Work on creating smoother transitions between paragraphs and ideas. This will help in improving the overall flow of the essay and making it more coherent.

task achievement

You have clearly stated your opinion in response to the question prompt, which demonstrates a clear task achievement.

coherence cohesion

Your essay includes both an introduction and a conclusion, which helps in structuring the response effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

249 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

financial stability
quality of life
healthcare, education, housing, and leisure activities
job satisfaction
overall well-being
motivation and productivity
positive attitude
personal life
sense of fulfillment and joy
balanced approach
compromises
finding a balance
financial stability and personal happiness

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Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Some people think the manufacturers and shopping malls should sell fewer packaged products while others argue that people have the responsibility to buy products with less packaging. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.