It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvatanges?
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay needs a clearer introduction. Consider starting with a hook or a general statement about the importance of taking risks. Then, state your thesis clearly.
complete response
While you mention both advantages and disadvantages, your essay is still very brief and doesn't fully explore these points. Consider providing more elaboration and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
logical structure
Make sure to use appropriate linking words and transitions to connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the coherence and flow of your essay.
logical structure
Your essay currently lacks a clear structure, with an opening statement, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Attempt to organize your thoughts into distinct sections.
introduction conclusion present
End your essay with a strong conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your thesis in light of the arguments you've made.
relevance
The topic you have chosen is very relevant and important in today’s fast-paced world.
supported main points
You rightly emphasize the importance of good planning as an inherent advantage of taking risks.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
The digital technology has revolutionized the way we live, including how we read. While some peoplecontend that printed books have lost their place today, others continue to hold them in high esteem.
In the present age, there has been much discussion surrounding whether sending emails and text messages has a negative impact on an individual's social life. Some people claim that people spend less time with their friends because of those contemporary means of communication. Personally, I totally agree with the statement that modern forms of communication have reduced the time that people spend meeting each other.
Nowadays, the development of educational system and its equipment is a heated topic since contemporary technology is on the rise in our day to day life. Society began to realize that the educational system will be replaced by modern ones such as computers, HD whiteboards, and etc. By the year 2050, many systems are going to change in a classroom.
Some people believe that the function of formal education can be substituted by several educational contents that are easily attainable on free websites. I strongly disagree with the statement eliminating the roles of school and this essay will outline the two most significant reasons.