It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvatanges?
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay needs a clearer introduction. Consider starting with a hook or a general statement about the importance of taking risks. Then, state your thesis clearly.
complete response
While you mention both advantages and disadvantages, your essay is still very brief and doesn't fully explore these points. Consider providing more elaboration and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
logical structure
Make sure to use appropriate linking words and transitions to connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the coherence and flow of your essay.
logical structure
Your essay currently lacks a clear structure, with an opening statement, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Attempt to organize your thoughts into distinct sections.
introduction conclusion present
End your essay with a strong conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your thesis in light of the arguments you've made.
relevance
The topic you have chosen is very relevant and important in today’s fast-paced world.
supported main points
You rightly emphasize the importance of good planning as an inherent advantage of taking risks.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
Today, people can easily connect with each other through the internet. Many believe that it helps increase the interaction between people by providing easier and more accessible ways to communicate, and I fully agree with this statement. This essay will elaborate on the reasons supporting my opinion and provide several examples.
The advancement of technological aspects plays an important role in the amelioration of digitalization, resulting in a massive change in the daily necessities of individuals around the world. The invention of the internet transformed numerous conventional media into a highly contemporary approach that is easily utilized within society. However, in my opinion, printed channels like books, newspapers, and magazines will not be extinct just because of the high-tech industry.
In today's globalized economy, multinational corporations are increasingly establishing operations in developing nations. While there are several drawbacks associated with the growing prevalence of these enterprises, I contend that the advantages they offer are far more significant.
Many people in work settings would treat their colleagues as their school friends, go out on the weekends and/or in the evenings with them, and ect. While that is a good way to be more social and gain popularity, to then gain trust from other people, some may see it as inappropriate and that it is important to keep a clear line between work life and social life.
Transport is used for developing the country's economy and also it is a basic need for people. Many people benefit from transport so, their bicycle usage number is reduced. People are to be encouraged to use the bicycle in future.