It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvatanges?
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay needs a clearer introduction. Consider starting with a hook or a general statement about the importance of taking risks. Then, state your thesis clearly.
complete response
While you mention both advantages and disadvantages, your essay is still very brief and doesn't fully explore these points. Consider providing more elaboration and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
logical structure
Make sure to use appropriate linking words and transitions to connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the coherence and flow of your essay.
logical structure
Your essay currently lacks a clear structure, with an opening statement, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Attempt to organize your thoughts into distinct sections.
introduction conclusion present
End your essay with a strong conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your thesis in light of the arguments you've made.
relevance
The topic you have chosen is very relevant and important in today’s fast-paced world.
supported main points
You rightly emphasize the importance of good planning as an inherent advantage of taking risks.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
Many large cities are suffering from overloaded roads and the local government tries to find some solutions. Consequently, terrible situations on the road and traffic jams cause car accidents, air pollution and extra stress for people. I strongly agree that a free constant public transportation system can help with tackling the issue. In my essay, I am going to introduce the ideas to support my point of view.
There is an ever-increasing use of machinery in the classroom, such as tablets and laptops. It is often argued that this is a positive development, while others disagree and think it will lead to adverse ramifications. This essay agrees that an increase in automation benefits apprentices and teachers.
Later, plenty of people would like to devote their time to watching electronic devices. In my point of view, this addiction is caused by various factors such as apps and games, watching social media etc. I don't think that is a positive, but it all depends on the person. In other words, the smartphone has a lot of functions that make it more convenient and available.
It is true that many residents of cities are not able to perform different kinds of physical activities. This essay will discuss several reasons why this is the case and the measures that are very helpful to overcome this problem.