It is important for people to take risks, both in their professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvatanges?
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introduction conclusion present
Your essay needs a clearer introduction. Consider starting with a hook or a general statement about the importance of taking risks. Then, state your thesis clearly.
complete response
While you mention both advantages and disadvantages, your essay is still very brief and doesn't fully explore these points. Consider providing more elaboration and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
logical structure
Make sure to use appropriate linking words and transitions to connect your ideas and paragraphs. This will enhance the coherence and flow of your essay.
logical structure
Your essay currently lacks a clear structure, with an opening statement, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Attempt to organize your thoughts into distinct sections.
introduction conclusion present
End your essay with a strong conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your thesis in light of the arguments you've made.
relevance
The topic you have chosen is very relevant and important in today’s fast-paced world.
supported main points
You rightly emphasize the importance of good planning as an inherent advantage of taking risks.
Include an introduction and conclusion
A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.
The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.
The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:
Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation
Example:
To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported.After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.
Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:
I am writing this letter to you to inform you about our experience in your restaurant. We had dinner at your place last Sunday night to celebrate our anniversary with my partner and seems like your employees need training on how to handle your customers.
It is important to teach language in any educational system. Although some people say that language classes would be small and learn a few number of students, others believe that the number of students is not important.
There are ongoing debate where some college students argue that it is important to learn another subject in order to supplement their main subject, while other think that they have to devote all of their time to deepening their knowledge of their subject. Personally, I believe that learning another field could improve abilities not only in the main subject but in other fields which are still important to support our lives.
Nowadays, developing countries facing a problem with a large jobless rate. I believe that when countries which have high unemployment rates do not provide the first education. Personally, I disagree with this argument, and in this essay, I will explain the suggestion from the government to serve primary education and no secondary education.
In many regions of our globe, people are choosing not to expand their branches and have children. This has very positive and negative effects on society, and in this essay, I will shed light on this hypothesis.