Some people think that competition at work, at school in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

#people #competition #work #school #life

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In today's society, with the evolving social landscape, some argue that

competition

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plays a key role in

people

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's lives,

while

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others contend that cooperation can lead to greater benefits.

Therefore

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this

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essay will explore both viewpoints, and I believe that

competition

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contributes more significant advantages than cooperation. On the one hand, advocates of collaboration assert that it can accelerate progress and innovation for individuals and society.

For example

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, it makes it easier for

people

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to achieve goals and missions through collective efforts, as they can exchange their knowledge and experience.

Moreover

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, collaboration creates harmonious environments,

such

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as friendly schools and workplaces, and improves a sense of identity.

Furthermore

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, when

people

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cooperate with each other, it contributes to the development of teamwork and the enhancement of social skills.

On the other hand

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, proponents of

competition

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believe that it is an effective approach to fueling success in many aspects. From a personal viewpoint,

competition

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makes

people

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strive to improve themselves and desire to distinguish themselves from others, as they are keen to acquire recognition from their teachers or bosses.

This

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, in turn, leads to not only a sense of purpose and achievement but

also

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an improvement in individual performance, all of which are essential components for individuals.

Consequently

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this

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contributes to positive effects for

people

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, companies, and societies. For the reasons mentioned above, it seems to me that cooperation leads to certain advantages,

while

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competition

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can contribute more benefits, which indicates that

competition

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is an indispensable and pivotal element in

people

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's lives.

Submitted by zora840810 on Sun Aug 11 2024

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task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples to illustrate your points. This will help make your argument more compelling and concrete.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and that the ideas flow logically from one to the next. This will further enhance the coherence of your essay.

introduction conclusion present

The introduction clearly states the topic and the writer’s opinion, providing a clear roadmap for the reader.

logical structure

The essay is well-structured with clear paragraphs addressing both viewpoints and the writer’s opinion.

coherence cohesion

Good use of linking words and phrases to maintain the flow of ideas.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

innovation
productivity
excel
outperform
advancements
academic standards
work ethic
stress
anxiety
unhealthy rivalries
harmonious
supportive
collaborative learning
social skills
communication skills
sense of community
collective goals

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Some people think that competition at work, at school in daily life is a good thing. Others believe that we should try to cooperate more, rather than competing against each other.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Studies show that criminals get low level of education. Some people believe that the best way to reduce the crime is educating people in prison so they can get a job after leaving prison. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some cities have few control over design and construction on housing and office buildings. People think that they are free to choose the design they like. Do you think the advantages outweigh disadvantages?

Some people think that schools should choose students according to their academic abilities, while others think it is better to have students of different abilities studying together. Discuss both views and state your own opinion?