IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that the internet has positive effect , others think that It has negative trends .Discuss both views and give your opinion .

#people #internet #effect #trends
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In today's world, the debate surrounding the
internet
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 has become a central topic of public discourse. Some people support the idea that the
internet
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 has
it's
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its
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 advantages,
while
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 others argue the opposite.
While
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 acknowledging the merits
in
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of
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 both perspectives, I find myself more inclined towards the former. In support of its upsides, my stance is primarily shaped by its logical coherence that the
internet
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 has positive effects.
This
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 stance is firmly grounded in the belief that the development of the
Use synonyms
internet
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Internet
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 causes economic growth. A significant study from Hong Kong University confirmed that electronic commerce significantly increased the GDP of China,
further
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 reinforcing
this
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 view. It is
also
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 important to consider that the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 contributes to international trade, largely because of the establishment of websites like Taobao, which makes the ordering process easier for people.
Therefore
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, there are numerous compelling arguments supporting
this
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 issue.
On the other hand
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, the opposing position offers several logical arguments, including the notion that the
internet
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 is spreading harmful information to children. The basis of
this
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 view depends on the fact that some toxic information can be accessed by teenagers without verification of age.
However
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, it is crucial to recognize that the
internet
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 takes all the responsibility, mainly
due to
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 the fact that the
internet
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 is just a tool for people to use. And the government should adjust the law to fix the trouble and enhance cyber security.
Nevertheless
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, youngsters gained help and improved their academic performance through the
internet
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.
For instance
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, a recent government analysis showed that schools that implemented remote teaching outperformed others without the involvement of the
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 in their teaching strategy. These considerations make me hesitant to fully endorse
this
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 perspective. In conclusion, after thoroughly examining both sides, my conviction in the assertion that the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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 has more merits than drawbacks remains strong.
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task achievement
Try to strengthen your arguments by providing more relevant examples and evidence to support your points.
coherence cohesion
Work on enhancing the logical flow within and between paragraphs. This will help improve overall clarity.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are well-presented and provide a clear view of your opinion.
task achievement
You have addressed both sides of the argument effectively, which contributes to a well-rounded discussion.
coherence cohesion
The essay includes relevant main points which are generally well-supported.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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