We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?
t
is true that we can not help whole Correct your spelling
It
people
in the world with problems,as some people
believe that we must think about our nation's people'
problems and solve them.Change noun form
people's
While
our citizens and people
are like our family and more important to us, I disagree with this
opinion.
On the one hand
Add a comma
hand,
people
say that society is equal to family and must put first that I accept this
for some reasons.Firstly
, it is easy to help people
around us, like giving some money, clothes and food on a road to homeless people
in our town. Secondly
, we should be a good example of being kind and generous to our kids by helping people
in front of their eyes to show them the good way of being among
society.By way of an example, participate in volunteer activities and charity clubs with our children and try to not ignore Change preposition
in
people
in hard situations.Finally
, extending a helping hand to under-poverty-line
citizen to improve their financial condition actually helped us by diminishing the crime rate Add an article
the under-poverty-line
an under-poverty-line
due to
starvation and this
makes our community safe.Therefore
I try to contribute to national charity as much as I can.
Nowadays, thanks to mass media we are aware of all around the world, so national boundaries cant
prevent us from thinking about horrible conditions in other countries , particularly African nations suffer from curable diseases and die just for not having money as much as a few dollars to survive.Regarding human nature, if anyone was Correct your spelling
can't
into
Change preposition
in
mind
of saving one child from falling or another's from killing by an accident meanwhile, absolutely choose to save a life rather than any other thing, Add an article
the mind
therefore
we must putting
the most effectiveness help with the same budget than who may get Change the form of the verb
put
this
money.This
is the real means of humanity and helping others and we can see the result of this
in our lives.
In conclusion,while
I help more frequently to my country's people
on a
tight budgets and hard times more than other foreign ones, I strongly believe that we should not extend a helping hand just to our Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
people
,also
sometimes overseas'
Change noun form
overseas
people
must be put first as they are more desirable to get help.Submitted by aliaghanjd74 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
introduction conclusion present
Ensure the introduction clearly introduces both sides of the argument and outlines the scope of the essay more succinctly.
logical structure
Improve the logical structure by organizing ideas into more distinct paragraphs. For example, have one paragraph discussing the reasons to help within one's own community and another for the global perspective.
relevant specific examples
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. Illustrations from global organizations or specific national scenarios can add more weight to your argument.
clear comprehensive ideas
Strive for clearer and less repetitive language. Refine your sentences to avoid ambiguity and ensure each sentence contributes directly to your main argument.
supported main points
The essay presents a balance of both national and global perspectives on the topic, demonstrating a well-rounded understanding of the issue.
supported main points
Good effort in linking the ideas of societal care with the concept of family, which adds a personal touch to the argument.
introduction conclusion present
Conclusion effectively restates the writer's stance, providing a clear summary of their viewpoint and thoughts.
Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS
Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!