We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#world #communities #countries

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Correct your spelling

is true that we can not help whole

people

in the world with problems,as some

people

believe that we must think about our nation's

people'

Change noun form

people's

show examples

problems and solve them.

While

our citizens and

people

are like our family and more important to us, I disagree with

this

opinion. On the one

hand

Add a comma

hand,

show examples

people

say that society is equal to family and must put first that I accept

this

for some reasons.

Firstly

, it is easy to help

people

around us, like giving some money, clothes and food on a road to homeless

people

in our town.

Secondly

, we should be a good example of being kind and generous to our kids by helping

people

in front of their eyes to show them the good way of being

among

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show examples

society.By way of an example, participate in volunteer activities and charity clubs with our children and try to not ignore

people

in hard situations.

Finally

, extending a helping hand to

under-poverty-line

Add an article

the under-poverty-line

an under-poverty-line

show examples

citizen to improve their financial condition actually helped us by diminishing the crime rate

due to

starvation and

this

makes our community safe.

Therefore

I try to contribute to national charity as much as I can. Nowadays, thanks to mass media we are aware of all around the world, so national boundaries

cant

Correct your spelling

can't

prevent us from thinking about horrible conditions in other countries , particularly African nations suffer from curable diseases and die just for not having money as much as a few dollars to survive.Regarding human nature, if anyone was

into

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show examples

mind

Add an article

the mind

show examples

of saving one child from falling or another's from killing by an accident meanwhile, absolutely choose to save a life rather than any other thing,

therefore

we must

putting

Change the form of the verb

put

show examples

the most effectiveness help with the same budget than who may get

this

money.

This

is the real means of humanity and helping others and we can see the result of

this

in our lives. In conclusion,

while

I help more frequently to my country's

people

Correct the article-noun agreement

apply

show examples

tight budgets and hard times more than other foreign ones, I strongly believe that we should not extend a helping hand just to our

people

also

sometimes

overseas'

Change noun form

overseas

show examples

people

must be put first as they are more desirable to get help.

Submitted by aliaghanjd74 on Mon Jun 24 2024

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introduction conclusion present

Ensure the introduction clearly introduces both sides of the argument and outlines the scope of the essay more succinctly.

logical structure

Improve the logical structure by organizing ideas into more distinct paragraphs. For example, have one paragraph discussing the reasons to help within one's own community and another for the global perspective.

relevant specific examples

Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your main points. Illustrations from global organizations or specific national scenarios can add more weight to your argument.

clear comprehensive ideas

Strive for clearer and less repetitive language. Refine your sentences to avoid ambiguity and ensure each sentence contributes directly to your main argument.

supported main points

The essay presents a balance of both national and global perspectives on the topic, demonstrating a well-rounded understanding of the issue.

supported main points

Good effort in linking the ideas of societal care with the concept of family, which adds a personal touch to the argument.

introduction conclusion present

Conclusion effectively restates the writer's stance, providing a clear summary of their viewpoint and thoughts.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

364 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

global interconnectivity
international cooperation
ethics
moral obligation
geographical borders
diplomatic relations
economic stability
global security
resource allocation
expertise
international aid
dependency and development
sustainable solutions
local and global initiatives
community resilience

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We cannot help everyone in the world that needs help, so we should only be concerned with our own communities and countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor.

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Doctors recommend that older people should get regular exercise. However many older people do not take enough exercise. What could be the reason for this? What can be done to encourage them to take exercise?

Nowadays, the traditions and customs redating to the food we eat and the way we eat are changing Why is this happening ? Do you think this kind of change is positive or negative ?

University students should pay the full cost of their studies because university education benefits individuals rather than society as a whole. To what extent do you agree or disagree?