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Writing Samples /
Band 0.5

It is often said, "When in Rome, do as Romans do." Do you think people should adapt and accept the culture of the country that they are visiting? Do you think it is possible to learn a culture without learning the language?

#rome #romans #people #culture #country #language
Our story began with a quick date at a cafe. Shortly, we saw each other again over watching a movie. It wasn't love at a first-sight meeting, so we decided to stay low until
this
 day came. (location button in Paris) Wanna meet? (location button in Berlin) Of course! We decided to have a relationship around
someday
Change the word
sometime
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 in
the
Change the article
apply
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late 2022. Being apart wasn't easy, but we enjoyed the ride.
Finally
, we are ready to embark on a lifetime journey together!
Submitted by raviandrakanty on

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task achievement
Ensure that your introduction sets up the main topic more clearly. This essay reads more like a personal story rather than addressing the prompt directly.
task achievement
Develop your ideas more comprehensively. The essay currently lacks depth in discussing whether people should adapt to the culture of the country they are visiting.
coherence cohesion
Use transition words and phrases to help the reader follow the progression of your ideas. This will improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
coherence cohesion
Include a clear conclusion that summarizes your main points and gives closure to your argument.
task achievement
Your writing style is engaging and easy to follow. This keeps the reader interested in your story.
coherence cohesion
The essay flows nicely in terms of personal narrative, showing how events unfolded over time.
coherence cohesion
Good use of simple, clear sentences makes your text easy to read and understand.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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