You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Write about the following topic: Some people think that we should replace old buildings and houses in cities with more modern buildings. Other people think we should protect old buildings. Discuss both these views and give your opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant experience from your own experience. Write at least 250 words.

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There is no doubt that
buildings
and
houses
are one of the city's front
view
Fix the agreement mistake
views
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. Certain individuals argue that we should rebuild old
houses
and
buildings
in urban areas with modern
buildings
, others, including me, believe that we have to keep old
buildings
protected. The people, who oppose keeping old
buildings
have their own reasons, mainly because of the safety matter. Living in old
houses
and
buildings
without any maintenance, that have a high probability to fail, causing death or severe injuries to people living inside it.
For instance
,
6-floor
Correct article usage
a 6-floor
show examples
building full of renters fell down with families inside it, because the building was built in 1990, and the owner did not maintain it annually as safety requirements and quality control demand for
buildings
older than 5 years.
Moreover
,
buildings
and
houses
are one of the important components of the city's view.
In other words
, visitors first notice infrastructure and
buildings
when they visit.
For
Change preposition
At
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that point, they determine if they will visit again.
Therefore
, many governments pay careful attention to these details to attract more tourists which will help
country
Add an article
the country
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increase
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
income through tourism.
On the other hand
, cultural and heritage
building
Fix the agreement mistake
buildings
show examples
, which often attract tourists from all around the world,
what
Add a missing verb
are what
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I am supporting to keep as a tourist attraction destination only. One clear example is the Pitza Tower in Italy, which nearly fails, but it is only for visitors to watch not for actual use by people. In conclusion, in my opinion, any old building
does
Correct pronoun usage
that does
show examples
not meet safety requirements should be replaced, but not
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cultural and
heritage related
Add a hyphen
heritage-related
show examples
buildings
.
Submitted by hguwfhkd on

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task achievement
The introduction effectively sets up the two perspectives and states your opinion. To improve, consider providing a clearer thesis statement that encompasses the main points of your argument.
task achievement
In the body paragraphs, you should elaborate more on each point and try to provide a more balanced discussion by expanding on the benefits of preserving old buildings in more detail.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph includes only one main idea and that this idea is fully developed. This will help your argument flow more logically.
coherence cohesion
Use more cohesive devices like “furthermore,” “however,” and “therefore” to clearly link your ideas and create a smoother transition between points.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which is crucial for a well-structured piece.
task achievement
The example of the 6-floor building and the cultural significance of the Pitza Tower are effective and relevant, strengthening your points.
coherence cohesion
Your argument is presented in a clear manner, making it easy to follow.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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