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Writing Samples /
Band 7

Every country in the world has its own road rules, but many drivers don’t obey them. What do you think are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

#country #world #road #rules #drivers #don’t
There is no denying the fact that there is an ongoing debate with compelling reasons about most countries'
drivers
 do not obey the
rules
 of the roads.
This
 essay will discuss what are the reasons for
this
 phenomenon and the possible solutions.
To begin
 with, there are many reasons for
drivers
 to disobey the
rules
 of the roads.
Firstly
, the vast majority of individuals are ignorant about the
laws
 of the railroads.
In other words
, most
drivers
 are old people, so they most likely do not pay any attention to the current
rules
 related to the streets.
In addition
, teenagers are careless when it comes to
rules
.
For example
, a recent article published in Scientific American revealed that 50% of young people are reckless and careless about the
rules
 and
laws
 and that, has resulted in some potential issues on roads
such
 as traffic jams, speed limits, and accidents. In terms of potential solutions, we can start by creating awareness among individuals about the
laws
 and
rules
 related to railroads. It is
also
 possible to say that, using television and social media is an effective method to concentrate on improving people's driving behaviours.
Moreover
, our government should pass strict
laws
 about driving.
For instance
, if the governments put a fine on those who disobey the
rules
such
 as speed limits,
this
 might alleviate the issue in streets that we are facing nowadays. To encapsulate the essence of everything said above, there are many causes for
drivers
 who do not follow the
rules
 like speeding. It is
also
 true that we can overcome
this
 problem with simple measures
such
 as spreading awareness about the
rules
 and putting fines on reckless
drivers
.
Submitted by deemaalkhathlan1 on

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task achievement
The essay addresses the topic and attempts to provide reasons and solutions, but it could be more thorough. Try expanding on the points with more detailed examples and explanations.
coherence cohesion
Organize the essay with clearer paragraphs. The ideas flow reasonably well, but transitions between sentences and paragraphs could be improved. Consider using phrases such as 'Another reason is...' or 'Furthermore...' to create smooth transitions.
general
There are some minor grammatical errors and awkward phrases, such as 'the laws of the railroads' which should be 'the traffic laws.' Review and proofread your essay to correct these mistakes.
task achievement
The essay does a good job at identifying multiple reasons why drivers might not obey road rules, such as ignorance and carelessness.
coherence cohesion
The structure includes an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which helps in organizing the ideas effectively.
task achievement
The essay presents a solution-oriented approach, proposing measures like creating awareness and imposing fines, which is insightful and adds value.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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