IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Global warming is one of the most serious issues that the world is facing today. What are the causes of global warming and what measures can governments and individuals take to tackle the issue? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own experience or knowledge.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Currently, the most serious threat
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the world is global warming, so there are many scientists and activists who
uncover
Wrong verb form
are uncovering
show examples
 that issue. To tell the truth, I am not a specialist in
this
Linking Words
 topic,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 I am definitely going to look into some obvious causes and solutions in the essay. As far as I know, global warming is an average temperature Increase in the atmosphere which has been provoked by extra-level
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
carbon
Use synonyms
 dioxide and other greenhouse gases released from different sources. If we consider the main powerful effects
on
Change preposition
of
show examples
 global
warning
Correct your spelling
warming
show examples
, we can notice that there are three types of causes:
carbon
Use synonyms
 sink destruction, burned fossil fuel and decomposition of carcasses and other bioactive elements. As an example, I have heard that the biggest
carbon
Use synonyms
 sink is an ocean and phytoplanktons in there are able to regenerate CO2 to oxygen up to 80
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of all underwater animals. The fact that whales produce phytoplanktons,
whaling
Correct word choice
and whaling
show examples
 could directly impact
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a number of
carbon
Use synonyms
 sink and its capacity. From my perspective, I feel pressure from society on the privet sector for irresponsible electricity consumption or for incorrect farming with tilling methods
what
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 leads to soil erosion, but what about the solutions
government
Correct article usage
the government
show examples
 could come up with?
This
Linking Words
 is a controversial issue in terms of either some laws they have to focus on more or investments they should invest
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
. To continue a point with hunting
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the biggest underwater species on Earth, I would consider
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
implement
Wrong verb form
implementing
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
whale protection programs against illegal human activities
as well as
Linking Words
 supporting those species to lift up
population
Correct pronoun usage
their population
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
. Keep it simple, the more government pay attention
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 illegal whaling,
for instance
Linking Words
, the slower global warming is going on. In conclusion, I would say that despite
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the fact that there
a
Add a missing verb
is a
show examples
massive horrible effect on Earth’s health, we can and we must find solutions,
although
Linking Words
 it is always hard to come by and resolve it
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 government support and our own forces.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Your introduction provides a general overview of the topic, but you could improve it by directly stating what you will discuss in the body paragraphs. For example, specify that you will discuss both causes and solutions.
coherence cohesion
The essay could benefit from a clearer and more structured layout. For instance, dedicate one paragraph to causes and another to solutions. This would make it easier for the reader to follow your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that every paragraph has a clear central idea, and use topic sentences to guide the reader. This will improve the overall logical flow of your essay.
task response
You have provided relevant and specific examples, such as the role of phytoplankton in carbon sinks and the impact of whaling on the environment.
task response
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic, especially when discussing complex issues such as carbon sinks and fossil fuels.
coherence cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the essay and reinforces the need for both governmental and individual actions to combat global warming.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • global issue
  • severity
  • urgency
  • greenhouse effect
  • human-induced
  • deforestation
  • fossil fuel combustion
  • industrial pollution
  • environmental regulations
  • emission standards
  • renewable energy sources
  • green technologies
  • international cooperation
  • Paris Agreement
  • climate change
  • energy consumption
  • public transportation
  • recycling
  • eco-friendly
  • extreme weather conditions
  • biodiversity
  • economic stability
  • collective responsibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: