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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many students find it difficult to concentrate or pay attention at school. What are the reasons? What could be done to solve this problem?

#students #attention #school
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In recent years, there has been an unprecedented surge in learning awareness, sparking extensive discussions regarding how to keep their
concentration
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 in the process. One prevailing phenomenon suggests that paying
attention
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 at school is an arduous task for the majority of
students
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. From my perspective, several potential factors contribute to
this
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 circumstance, but individuals have the capacity to employ various strategies available to tackle
this
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 problem. One compelling reason for
this
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 difficulty is the complexity of the structured environment. Compared to other situations,
schools
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 provide a structured environment where
students
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 can interact and engage with peers from diverse backgrounds.
Such
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 circumstance prompts
students
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 to unlock unforeseen opportunities to participate in colourful activities, thereby adversely affecting their
concentration
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 on a specific event.
For example
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, when
students
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 are faced with multiple initiatives to take part in communal practices, they are hardly dedicated to their academic performance and cannot focus on the acquisition of critical skills and knowledge.
Furthermore
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, for those with clear objectives, the atmosphere of
schools
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 can
also
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 influence their energy and
concentration
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 distribution in numerous curriculums, decreasing their learning efficiency and productivity.
Nevertheless
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, a variety of methods available have been substantiated to be effective in addressing
this
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 issue.
First,
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schools
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 have the obligation to integrate
attention
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 exercises into
students
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' educational curriculums,
thus
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 leading to enhanced
concentration
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.
For instance
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, by ingraining focus programs into educational systems,
schools
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 can guarantee that
students
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 not only more readily pay
attention
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 to what they are going through but
also
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 evolve into more dedicated and responsible individuals. Simultaneously,
students
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 themselves should introduce implicit hints into their daily lives to remind them of the significance of staying focused and the benefits it brings, cultivating
students
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 the habit of reducing distracted behaviour. In conclusion, despite recognizing the negative impact of the structured environment on campus, I once again reaffirm my stance that the joint efforts from
schools
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 and
students
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 contribute to dealing with distracted
attention
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. The integration of relevant exercises into educational courses and subtle clues can definitely make it a negligible problem.
Submitted by nikolopup on

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task achievement
Try to provide more specific examples or case studies to support your main points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a single clear main idea and that your ideas are logically developed and connected.
task achievement
Your essay provides a complete response to the task, discussing both reasons for the lack of concentration and potential solutions.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps in guiding the reader through your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Your logical structure is strong, with each paragraph building on the previous one smoothly.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological distractions
  • proliferation
  • digital devices
  • social media
  • messaging
  • unengaging
  • teaching methods
  • classroom environment
  • overcrowded classrooms
  • insufficient lighting
  • uncomfortable seating
  • mental health issues
  • anxiety
  • stress
  • sleep deprivation
  • impair concentration
  • attention span
  • engagement
  • interactive learning
  • well-being
  • sufficient rest
  • coping mechanisms
  • modernize curricula
  • mental health support
  • focus-enhancing strategies
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