Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Divergent opinions exist regarding whether

music

is an effective bond to connect individuals from a wide range of cultures and age groups. From my perspective, I am convinced by

this

viewpoint. It is well known that

music

, the global language, has been welcomed all over the world, which can break the barriers of national boundaries and languages. Taylor Swift, a famous American pop singer, is loved by fans from many countries. Recently, she held a concert in Singapore, directly attracting thousands of fans from all Asian countries.

This

has shown that

people

can understand her

songs

and appreciate her talents in

music

regardless of their different languages and cultural backgrounds. Another good example is Jay Zhu, the pop king from China. One of his hit

songs

, “Shuangjiegun, caused a heated discussion about Chinese culture in Europe over a decade ago.

Hence

music

is truly magic because it resonates with

people

from different areas.

Secondly

music

also

powerful in unifying

people

from various age groups.

For instance

, TV shows like "Voice" can bring family members together to enjoy various types of

music

and discuss their preferred

music

genres, which is definitely beneficial to the

overall

well-being of households.

Furthermore

, classic

music

songs

that have endured across generations continue to enjoy popularity today.

For example

, Beyond was a very popular band in the 1980s. They continue to perform one of their representative

songs

, particularly for recently graduated youngsters. In conclusion,

although

people

from different backgrounds or age groups might have gaps in understanding each other,

music

can bring them together and tie the relationship between them.

Submitted by 842623369 on Tue Jun 25 2024

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task achievement

Ensure you mention specific details in each example to thoroughly support your argument, and aim for clarity and conciseness in your explanations.

coherence cohesion

Try to employ a variety of cohesive devices to improve the overall flow and connection between your ideas, and proofread your essay for minor grammatical or spelling errors.

coherence cohesion

The introduction clearly outlines the topic and your stance, which sets a solid groundwork for the essay.

task achievement

You included relevant and specific examples to support your main points, which strengthens your argument.

coherence cohesion

Well-structured paragraphs with clear topic sentences help in maintaining a logical structure throughout the essay.

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

266 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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