In many countries, people are now living longer than before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for government. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extend do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

#countries #people #population #government #society

In recent years, many individuals prefer to live longer. In my mind, all

people

are willing to live a lot.

Moreover

, the number of old

people

is increasing.

However

, the number of young

people

and children is decreasing.

Furthermore

, there are fewer children and teenagers compared to adults.

This

is one example of these issues. On the one hand, there are several benefits of a long life. The first benefit is that older humans are generally more intelligent than young

people

For instance

, they can be examples for many individuals.

Additionally

, there are financial benefits. If parents work, adults can take care of the young.

This

is because elderly persons are often wiser than others.

On the other hand

, despite the mentioned positives, many elderly

people

may pose problems for others.

For instance

, they might become ill as they get older.

For

this

reason, some

people

need to take care of them, which can be problematic. One of the major disadvantages is that old

people

can become a burden in my opinion. Another important drawback is that they often want to dictate actions but cannot perform many difficult tasks themselves.

This

is another issue. In conclusion,

while

adults can sometimes become a problem for others, some

people

oppose

this

view.

Although

a long life can offer several positives, there may be some drawbacks too. From my personal point of view, the advantages of living longer outweigh the disadvantages.

Submitted by soglomovsarvar on Tue Jun 25 2024

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task achievement

Develop your main points with more specific examples. For instance, when discussing the financial benefits of having elderly folks at home, you can mention specific roles they could play in childcare or household management.

coherence cohesion

Try to consolidate and smoothly transition between ideas to enhance the essay's overall coherence. A more cohesive structure guides the reader from one point to another seamlessly, improving the reading experience.

coherence cohesion

Avoid repetitive statements and redundancies. Instead of reiterating that elderly people might become a burden, elaborate on how societal structures can mitigate such issues or showcase more specific instances.

coherence cohesion

The essay has a clear structure, with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

task achievement

The response adequately addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of an ageing population, keeping relevant to the prompt.

coherence cohesion

Good use of transitional phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand,' which helps to contrast different points.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

238 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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In many countries, people are now living longer than before. Some people say an ageing population creates problems for government. Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extend do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

Word Count

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?

Many people believe that educational standards have declined in recent times, particularly in the areas of literacy and numeracy. Discuss the causes of this problem and offer some possible solutions to it.

In many countries, people now wear western-style dress such as suits and jeans rather than traditional clothing. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative development?

It is now possible for scientists and tourists to travel to remote areas with natural environments, such as the South Pole. Is this a positive or negative development?

Nowadays we are producing more and more rubbish. Why do you think this is happening? What can governments do to help reduce the amount of rubbish produced?