Today's society is based on laws and rules. It can't function well if individuals are free to do whatever they want. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Wherever
people
go to any parts
of the world, we are bound by laws and unwritten Fix the agreement mistake
part
rules
wheather
we like it or not. Even thoughCorrect your spelling
whether
,
current society Remove the comma
apply
are
very much enjoying many rights and Change the verb form
is
freedom
compared to our ancestors decades ago, Fix the agreement mistake
freedoms
people
are always tied down by certain type
of regulation Fix the agreement mistake
types
on
daily life. In Change preposition
in
this
essay I would like to extend my discussion of my view that i
very much do agree that Change the capitalization
I
this
world cannot operate to its best potential of
individuals are allowed to have so much Correct your spelling
if
of
freedom that they can do whatever they want.
Apparently, we are living in a big community in urban or suburban areas where Change preposition
apply
population
are getting larger day by day with no stopping to it by any regulatory body. The city Add an article
the population
are
getting busier and more crowded with Change the verb form
is
people
and families which in turn contributes to the
pollution and traffic congestion. More Correct article usage
apply
business
are booming like Fix the agreement mistake
businesses
mushroom
Correct article usage
a mushroom
every
corner of the city and transactions need to Change preposition
on every
done
Add a missing verb
be done
smoothy
and every time spent is valuable. Correct your spelling
smoothly
Therefore
, to enable the community to function well in order to run the country more efficiently, the government are forced to enforce law
and Fix the agreement mistake
laws
rules
to its citizen
so that everyone can live harmoniously and daily business can be run effectively. Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
Moreover
, if there is
no Change the verb form
are
rules
on traffic, there will massive
confusion on the road making the situation even worse if Add a missing verb
be massive
this
happens when people
are going to work in the morning.
Besides
, if regulations are not enforced correctly, crimes would
increase causing disharmony in the lives of the Wrong verb form
will
citizen
which in turn will cause the community to be unsafe to live in. As much as all of us want freedom to do anything, the one Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
things
all of us want to avoid is Fix the agreement mistake
thing
civil
war Add an article
a civil
the civil
that
has taken many lives in the past. Bearing Correct pronoun usage
which
this
in mind of
what Change preposition
apply
happend
to Malaysia on 13th May must be a reminder that laws are important to avoid Correct your spelling
happened
such
bloody
civil war which in turn disrupted our Correct article usage
a bloody
countries
economy.
In conclusion, I totally agree that every country and state must have proper Change noun form
country's
law
and Fix the agreement mistake
laws
rules
to covers
every aspect of Wrong verb form
cover
the
life and to boost our economy in turn. But, Correct article usage
apply
however
, the authorities must bear in mind that these rules
should not enslave any group of society or rob anyones
rights in their society.Correct your spelling
anyone
anyone's
Submitted by coke_sars on
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language
Be mindful of grammatical errors and spelling mistakes. For example, 'whether' is spelled incorrectly as 'wheather', and 'countries' should be 'country's'. This affects the readability and clarity of your essay.
task response
Provide more specific examples to support your points. For instance, when discussing traffic laws, you could mention specific regulations or incidents that demonstrate their importance.
coherence
Improve the structure of your paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph focuses on a single main idea and that there are clear transitions between paragraphs to enhance coherence.
introduction conclusion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and well-stated, providing a solid framework for your essay.
task response
You have effectively addressed the prompt and provided a logical argument for the necessity of laws and rules in society.
supported main points
You have made good use of examples, such as the reference to Malaysia's history, which adds depth to your argument.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
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