There are social, medical, and technical problems associated with the use of mobile phones. What forms do they take? Do you agree the problems of mobile phones outweigh the benefits?

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In
this
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fast-paced world where the use of cell
phones
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become more and more popular, people of all ages own at least one for the sake of convenience.
However
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, these electronic devices are being criticized
due to
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their negative impacts on many facets of life over their advantages. From my perspective, using mobile
phones
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has more positive points than negative points.
To begin
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with, it is undeniable that there have been many problems related to these gadgets since they were invented. In terms of social communication, people are less sociable than they were in the past.
In other words
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, they immerse themselves in applications installed on their
phones
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which draw users’ attention with ease and ignore others’ presence. People’s health is
also
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influenced badly
due to
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the long-term use of
this
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equipment. The symptoms including eye strain, headache and insomnia are popular for the young who spend most of their time surfing the internet through these tiny gadgets. Many young children even have to be sent to some special school to stay away from mobile
phones
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. What is more, the personal information may be lost
due to
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less security.
For example
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, many private images from
phones
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are leaked and are being used for stealing money from e-banking or mature content.
Thus
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, it can be seen that there are a lot of drawbacks to using mobile
phones
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.
On the other hand
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, the upsides of
this
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small equipment cannot be ignored. First and foremost, prior to
this
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invention, those who used landline
phones
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had to pay money per month and
this
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posed many obstacles.
However
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, individuals from different parts of the world nowadays can be connected and communicate with each other. The second highlight is in terms of convenience.
In other words
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, with their small size and being connected to the internet, smartphones can be used everywhere, every time with limited disruptions.
Moreover
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, the large capacity allows users to store many important documents including e-books, videos and images without carrying them by their side.
Last
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but not least, users can not only entertain with smartphones but
also
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study and work with these devices.
For instance
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, during the COVID-19 pandemic when students and workers have to work and study from home, cell
phones
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are the most helpful tools that offer many applications for individuals’ needs
such
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as Zoom, Group for students on Facebook and so on.
Therefore
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, there are several benefits of using these gadgets. In conclusion,
while
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cell
phones
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pose many challenges for users, a lot of upsides are presented.
As a result
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, people should take advantage of these devices and use them moderately to avoid their consequences.
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coherence cohesion
Although your essay has a strong logical structure, try to ensure each paragraph flows more smoothly. Use more linking words and phrases to connect different ideas and sentences.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are expressed clearly and comprehensively. Review sentences for potential ambiguities and clarify where needed.
task achievement
While using specific examples is good, try to be more detailed and relevant with your examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Strong introduction and conclusion that clearly frame your essay.
task achievement
The essay covers all parts of the task effectively and presents well-rounded arguments.
coherence cohesion
Well-supported main points that are relevant to the topic.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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