The graph below gives information on the number of participants for different activities at one social center in Melbourne, Australia for the period 2000 to 2020
The line graph demonstrates the
number
of Australians that
took part in physical activities at a social centre from 2000 to 2020. Correct pronoun usage
who
Overall
, despite not experiencing any significant fluctuation, film club
always attracted Fix the agreement mistake
clubs
most
denizens throughout the period shown. Correct article usage
the most
Furthermore
, the dramatic rise of the table tennis players and the drop of dramatics learners were perceptible.
In 2000, there were about 65 residents in the film club
, which was the highest number
among five
activities. Following that, the martial arts Correct article usage
the five
club
consisted of about 37 members, which was about 10 and 20 participants higher than the figure for amateur dramatics and table tennis respectively. At this
time, no individual took part in musical performances.
Over the next 20 years, the number
of denizens who joined the film club
remained quite stable and ended the period at the
similar Correct article usage
a
number
compared to the beginning, which was still the highest number
. Another activity that also
witnessed little change is martial arts, which had the same number
of people doing this
as in 2000. In terms of table tennis participants, after remaining steady for 10 years, it surged and became the second most popular activity with around 55 players..
The increase Replace the punctuation
.
...
of
musical performers was Change preposition
in
also
noticeable when it climbed from zero participants to almost 20 performers. Finally
, amateur dramatics seemed to lose its attractiveness when just about 10 people doing
it in 2020.Wrong verb form
did
Submitted by nphlpro on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
▼
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
▼
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
▼
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words number, club with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 4 times.
▼