Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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contemporary

Correct article usage

the contemporary

show examples

epoch,

irrefutable

Change the article

an irrefutable

show examples

lot of

children

Use synonyms

bullying

Wrong verb form

bully

show examples

their friends in playgrounds,

Linking Words

however

Add the comma(s)

however,

show examples

role and

fungciton

Correct your spelling

function

their

parents

Use synonyms

are pivot guide them. I am going to give a solution in my experience in forthcoming

paragragfs

Correct your spelling

paragraphs

To begin

Linking Words

with, copiuos

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

behavior which different,

therefore

Linking Words

it is

truth

Replace the word

true

show examples

issue some kids

doing bullying

Wrong verb form

bully

show examples

each other.

Firstly

Linking Words

small

Add an article

a small

show examples

child has

high

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a high

the high

show examples

tendency and

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

not want to lose.

for

Linking Words

example

Add a comma

example,

show examples

children

Use synonyms

who are

scramble

Wrong verb form

scrambling

show examples

toys probably they are will

Rephrase

probably be

show examples

angry and blame one another

such

Linking Words

they

Correct word choice

if they

show examples

want to

doing

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show examples

pazzle

Correct your spelling

puzzle

however

Linking Words

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

annoy

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annoyed

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As a

Linking Words

result

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result,

show examples

He or She will

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

cry.

Moreover

Linking Words

fight

Wrong verb form

fighting

show examples

with each other will

extansion

Correct your spelling

extension

their problem. Second of all, all

parents

Use synonyms

should

guiding

Change the verb form

guide

be guiding

show examples

their

childern

Correct your spelling

children

their

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

become good

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

in the future.

Hence

Linking Words

Parents

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has

Correct subject-verb agreement

have

show examples

fungction

Correct your spelling

function

functions

vital for growing their

children

Use synonyms

for illustration,

children

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who

doing

Unnecessary verb

apply

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prohibit their

parents

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should be prevent what their

children

Use synonyms

doing

Change preposition

from doing

show examples

such

Linking Words

as,

argue

Wrong verb form

arguing

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with

other

Fix the agreement mistake

others

show examples

, unresponsiblity, unfriendly

and

Correct word choice

apply

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etc.

Linking Words

addition

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addition,

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elder people

has

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have

show examples

obligation

Correct article usage

an obligation

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guide

Fix the infinitive

to guide

show examples

their kids

for instance

Linking Words

give

Wrong verb form

by giving

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them

suggetion

Correct your spelling

suggestions

suggestion

and advisetion from

golden

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the golden

a golden

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age. I believe these

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are

show examples

Correct article usage

the

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main reasons why

older

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old is

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cruccial

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crucial

for kids.

Moreover

Linking Words

, older people must notice their

childern

Correct your spelling

children

and have a result their

children

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will be great

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

. in conclusion, taking all these

point

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points

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into account, I believe

role

Add an article

the role

show examples

of elders

very

Add a missing verb

is very

show examples

important and

have

Correct subject-verb agreement

has

show examples

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

impact

to teach

Change preposition

on teaching

show examples

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

Therefore

Linking Words

childern

Correct your spelling

children

also

Linking Words

should

relize

Correct your spelling

realize

realise

their

behavior

Change the spelling

behaviour

show examples

patricius.yohanesTue Jun 25 2024

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coherence

Although you have introduced the topic, the purpose and structure of your essay could be clearer. Try to state your main argument and outline your key points in the introduction.

coherence

There are numerous grammatical errors and awkward phrasings that interrupt the flow of your essay. Effort to improve your syntax and vocabulary will result in a higher score.

coherence

Ensure that each paragraph clearly presents a single main idea supported by relevant examples or points. This makes your argument more persuasive and easier to follow.

task achievement

You should work on developing more specific examples that clearly support your main points. Currently, the examples are somewhat generic and do not fully illustrate your arguments.

task achievement

It’s commendable that you have attempted to provide examples to support your points, even if they need better development and clarity.

task achievement

Your essay addresses the topic and attempts to provide a solution, which shows you have engaged with the prompt effectively.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
59
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

239 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

escalation of violence
peaceful conflict resolution
defuse tense situations
self-control
managing emotions
express themselves
resolve problems
foster a safer environment
lead by example
empathy and understanding
alternative strategies
life skills
retaliate
confrontation
non-violent communication

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Violence in playgrounds is increasing. However, it is important that parents should teach children not to hit back at bullies. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Do you think online shopping causes conflicts between customers and companies?

In recent years, there has been a rise in the use of performance-enhancing drugs in sports. What are the consequences of doping for athletes? What measure should be taken to combat this issue?

The figures below compare the number of internet users in several European nations as well as the prevalence of online shopping in these countries.

Many people believe that international tourism has negative implications on their countries. What is the reason for it? What can be done to change the negative attitude towads international tourism?