Some people believe that the only purpose for anyone to learn a second language is to travel or work abroad. Others argue that this is not the only purpose why someone needs to learn a second language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

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Whereas
several
people
believe that the only aim
to learn
Change preposition
of learning
show examples
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
show examples
language
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
for working or travelling matters, another group think that there are multiple
reasons
to do it. It is true that one of the main purposes of learning a
second
tongue
is to
work
or
travel
abroad,
however
, is not the only one. Many
people
have a cultural interest in learning a
language
,
even
Correct word choice
and even
show examples
entire societies
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
to learn
second
Add an article
a second
show examples
language
at school for cultural
reasons
.
This
essay agrees with the
second
group mentioned, those who think that
work
and
travel
are not the only
reasons
. There is a reality, an important part of society is willing to learn a
second
tongue
, only if is needed to
work
or
travel
abroad. Communities from countries
such
as the U.S. where
people
speak English as their mother
tongue
, are not interested in learning other languages, as they do not have the need.
This
is because these countries speak the international
language
for working and travelling, English.
For instance
, a recent research concluded that only 15% of the American
people
speak a
second
language
, meanwhile, in Europe, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
speak at least two or even three idioms. From another point of view, there are multiple
people
who think that the
reasons
mentioned above are not the only ones to learn a
second
language
.
This
essay agrees with
this
group of
people
. The aim of learning a new
tongue
depends on the person who is learning, and the purpose could be more than
work
or
travel
abroad.
For example
, there are multiple cultures
such
us, Valencia in Spain, where the young children learn "Valenciano" at school, and the
reasons
are mainly cultural.
To conclude
,
this
essay believes that the
reasons
to learn a
language
are personal, and depend on the person who is learning.
Submitted by tomasmutilva99 on

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grammar
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases that can be improved for better clarity. For example, "idioms" should be "languages" and "Communities from countries such as the U.S." could be phrased more smoothly.
task response
More specific examples and elaboration on the cultural importance of learning languages can further strengthen your argument.
task response
Your essay presents a fair and balanced discussion of both views, which makes your argument more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a proper introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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