IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that the only purpose for anyone to learn a second language is to travel or work abroad. Others argue that this is not the only purpose why someone needs to learn a second language. Discuss both these views and give your own opinions.

Whereas
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 several
people
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 believe that the only aim
to learn
Change preposition
of learning
show examples
other
Correct quantifier usage
another
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language
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are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 for working or travelling matters, another group think that there are multiple
reasons
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 to do it. It is true that one of the main purposes of learning a
second
Use synonyms
tongue
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 is to
work
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 or
travel
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 abroad,
however
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, is not the only one. Many
people
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 have a cultural interest in learning a
language
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,
even
Correct word choice
and even
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 entire societies
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 to learn
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second
Add an article
a second
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language
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 at school for cultural
reasons
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.
This
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 essay agrees with the
second
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 group mentioned, those who think that
work
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 and
travel
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 are not the only
reasons
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. There is a reality, an important part of society is willing to learn a
second
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tongue
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, only if is needed to
work
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 or
travel
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 abroad. Communities from countries
such
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 as the U.S. where
people
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 speak English as their mother
tongue
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, are not interested in learning other languages, as they do not have the need.
This
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 is because these countries speak the international
language
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 for working and travelling, English.
For instance
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, a recent research concluded that only 15% of the American
people
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 speak a
second
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language
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, meanwhile, in Europe, most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 speak at least two or even three idioms. From another point of view, there are multiple
people
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 who think that the
reasons
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 mentioned above are not the only ones to learn a
second
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language
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.
This
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 essay agrees with
this
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 group of
people
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. The aim of learning a new
tongue
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 depends on the person who is learning, and the purpose could be more than
work
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 or
travel
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 abroad.
For example
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, there are multiple cultures
such
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 us, Valencia in Spain, where the young children learn "Valenciano" at school, and the
reasons
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 are mainly cultural.
To conclude
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,
this
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 essay believes that the
reasons
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 to learn a
language
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 are personal, and depend on the person who is learning.

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grammar
There are a few grammatical errors and awkward phrases that can be improved for better clarity. For example, "idioms" should be "languages" and "Communities from countries such as the U.S." could be phrased more smoothly.
task response
More specific examples and elaboration on the cultural importance of learning languages can further strengthen your argument.
task response
Your essay presents a fair and balanced discussion of both views, which makes your argument more comprehensive.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear structure with a proper introduction, body paragraphs discussing both views, and a conclusion.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • language
  • learn
  • travel
  • work
  • abroad
  • communicate
  • employees
  • opportunities
  • companies
  • skills
  • memory
  • problem-solving
  • relationships
  • friends
  • cultures
  • understanding
  • important
  • globalized
  • appreciation
  • backgrounds
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