Some people believe that there are various reasons that can motivate a person to keep working for the same company whereas others say that money is the main reason which gives motivation. Do you agree or disagree?#

#people #person #company #money #reason #motivation

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These days, the types of jobs a person can do

varies

Wrong verb form

vary

show examples

and companies are finding creative ways to make use of the

man power

Correct your spelling

manpower

show examples

available to the best case possible to grow their businesses. Even though

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

money is important literally in

everyone

Change noun form

everyone's

show examples

life, there are certain

group

Fix the agreement mistake

groups

show examples

of people who are willing to stay in a

company

Use synonyms

for a very long

time

Use synonyms

other than financial reasons.

Therefore

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

essay

Add a comma

essay,

show examples

I will

further

Linking Words

discuss

Change preposition

apply

show examples

this

Linking Words

statement. The reason why an individual would stay for a long period of

time

Use synonyms

could be because of their family commitments.

For example

Linking Words

, if a woman is married and

having

Wrong verb form

has

show examples

kids and

also

Linking Words

already bought a house

Change preposition

show examples

a particular area might prefer to stay in the same

job

Use synonyms

as long as possible because she needs a stable

job

Use synonyms

to secure her family life. Not only that, for a woman, distance is very important because she might need to attend to her kids as soon

possible

Change preposition

as possible

show examples

any

Change preposition

at any

show examples

time

Use synonyms

of the day. The nearer the

company

Use synonyms

is to her home,

Correct article usage

the more

show examples

likely she will stick to that same working place for a very long

time

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

optimistic

Correct article usage

an optimistic

show examples

working environment will

further

Linking Words

encourage any person to stay long in that

company

Use synonyms

This

Linking Words

is because

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

society

are

Change the verb form

show examples

prioritizing mental health

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these days and the

job

Use synonyms

itself is already stressful because they need to meet the target by

end

Correct article usage

the end

show examples

of the month.

Therefore

Linking Words

, when an individual

are

Change the verb form

show examples

surrounded by

non toxic

Add a hyphen

non-toxic

show examples

collegues

Correct your spelling

colleagues

and bosses, they can go home and tackle other issues in family and community.

Besides

Linking Words

work

Correct article usage

the work

show examples

timing flexibility of the

job

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

makes people willing to settle in that

company

Use synonyms

for a very long

time

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, it is not wrong to prioritize money to stay in a place but having good mental health and

good

Correct article usage

a good

show examples

working environment is

also

Linking Words

important.

Submitted by coke_sars on Tue Jun 25 2024

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introduction conclusion present

While the introduction is clear, ensure that you restate the essay prompt more explicitly to frame the argument better for the reader.

relevant specific examples

Provide a more diverse range of specific examples to strengthen each argument further.

logical structure

Connect the paragraphs more explicitly with linking phrases or words to enhance the flow of ideas.

complete response

The essay provides a clear and comprehensive response to the prompt, addressing multiple perspectives.

supported main points

The main points are well-supported with logical reasoning and relevant examples.

introduction conclusion present

The conclusion effectively summarizes the key points and presents a balanced view.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

307 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

motivation
job satisfaction
personal fulfillment
career development
growth opportunities
continuous learning
training
promotions
positive work environment
supportive management
good relationships
colleagues
benefits
perks
health insurance
retirement plans
flexible working hours
company culture
values
recognition
rewards
job security
stability
economic uncertainty
employee loyalty

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Some people believe that there are various reasons that can motivate a person to keep working for the same company whereas others say that money is the main reason which gives motivation. Do you agree or disagree?#

Fully explain your ideas

Some people argue that the best way to become successful in life is to get a university education. Others disagree with it and reckon that nowadays it is no longer true. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Space travel has been possibile for some time, and some people believe that space tourism could be developed in the future. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

With the development of scocial media, more and more youngsters are being allowed unsupervised access to the internet in ordet to meet and chat with friends which can lead to pottentially dangerous situations. What solutions can you suggesr to deal with this problem?

Some people think that all university students should study whatever they like. Others believe that they should only be allowed to study subjects that will be useful in the future, such as those related to science and technology. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

It is important for people to take risks, in both their professional lives and personal lives. Do the advantages of taking these risks outweigh the disadvantages?