Many young people choose to take a year out between finishing school and starting university in order to gain work experience or to travel. The experience of non-academic life this offers benefits the individual when they return to education. To what extent do you agrede or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience . Write at least 250 words

Some people choose a
gap
year
after finishing high
school
to gain other experiences which they believe could benefit them. I wholeheartedly disagree with getting a
gap
year
after high
school
due to
the facts that will be elaborated
in
Change preposition
on in
show examples
this
essay. Some universities have a maximum age in their requirements where the student can not be more than 19 years old when applying for the study. Unlike master's degrees, bachelor's degrees often accept
students
around 18-19 years old and people who take a
year
out would not benefit
due to
the fact that one
year
would be enough for people to forget about essential knowledge
to begin
certain majors.
For instance
, chemical science major requires their
students
to have a fundamental knowledge of chemistry because they will deep dive into experimental projects in college.
Although
a
gap
year
would give opportunities to explore other activities
such
as travelling and informal work, formal academic institutes would prefer their student with in-depth understanding rather than personal achievements that are not related to academics. Another disadvantage of getting a
year
out is the individuals would not be in the same class as their peers
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are the same age.
This
happens obviously because their friends would become their seniors and
this
probably would affect their social and mental.
Consequently
, the
students
have a possibility to be compared with their peers though they started college in different years and they tend to feel left out of their circles.
To conclude
, there are drawbacks to a
year
out after graduating from
school
because many universities have maximum age in their admission requirements.
Thus
, I suggest that
students
get other experiences during college and not take a
gap
year
after high
school
.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

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task achievement
Expand your examples to provide more specific and detailed evidence supporting your points.
task achievement
Ensure all elements of the prompt are addressed, including the potential benefits of a gap year, for a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer logical structure by using more transition words or phrases to connect ideas smoothly.
coherence cohesion
Review your conclusion to succinctly summarize your arguments, reinforcing your stance with brief mentions of the key points discussed.
task achievement
The introduction clearly states your position on the topic.
coherence cohesion
Each main point is logically structured and separated into distinct paragraphs, aiding readability.
coherence cohesion
The essay maintains a formal tone appropriate for an IELTS writing task.

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  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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