IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people think that physical strength is important for success in sports, while other people think that mental strength is more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The majority of people believe that having a good level of
vigor
Change the spelling
vigour
show examples
 is crucial for being successful in matches.
However
Linking Words
, another group of people claim that having powerful
brain
Use synonyms
 ability is the most important factor for thriving in physical activities. I am highly sure that having a strong
body
Use synonyms
 may be more important.Since most sports are physically demanding and need excellent
body
Use synonyms
 health. Having a powerful
brain
Use synonyms
 can be extremely essential merely for
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
issues which are mentally demanding.
Such
Linking Words
 as solving tables or being decisive in vital moments.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 capability is invaluable, it may not be effective for physical activities.
For instance
Linking Words
, a good wrestler ought to have a strong frame to win. If an athlete did not have a high level of strength, he would never be a winner, even if he has strong
brain
Use synonyms
 power.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, having a strong torso can be like a bridge that people can obtain success by crossing over . Except for a few sports which do not include physical activities like chess, others require physical movement and in the end, the stronger athlete wins the triumph.
For example
Linking Words
, in football, players are forced to run at least for ninety minutes.With a weak
body
Use synonyms
, it may be impossible. To put it in a nutshell,
although
Linking Words
 some public says that mental abilities are more important for being successful in tournaments, other crowds, including me, investigate that being fit can help players to win.
As
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
, the vast majority of sports need ready on
powerful
Add an article
the powerful
show examples
body
Use synonyms
, without regard
brain
Use synonyms
. Athletes just benefit from their torso vigour.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence
Consider enhancing your introduction to include a brief overview of both perspectives. This will give a better context for your discussion and create a clearer roadmap for your essay.
task achievement
Avoid using informal contractions like 'ought to' and 'says that', aiming for more formal language usage such as 'asserts that' or 'argue that'. This will help in presenting your argument more academically.
coherence
Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea that is well-supported with examples. Transitioning between ideas can be smoother to enhance the flow of your essay.
task achievement
Your essay includes relevant examples, like the comparison between a wrestler and the role of body strength in football which effectively illustrate your points.
coherence
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion which frames the discussion coherently.
task achievement
You have successfully addressed both views of the topic and provided your own opinion, adding depth to your argument.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • physical strength
  • endurance
  • athlete
  • performance
  • injury prevention
  • mental strength
  • pressure
  • focus
  • high-stakes situations
  • mental game
  • resilience
  • setbacks
  • recover
  • motivated
  • foundation
  • longevity
What to do next:
Look at other essays: