In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?
In some countries college
students
live at home with their parents while
they study, meanwhile, in other nations, students
attend university in another town. This
essay will examine the benefits and drawbacks with provide logical exemplification and conclusion.
First of all, I believe students
still alive with their families
while
they study have a lot of benefits from the Economy and Mental health. Firstly
, students
can save money if they stay at home because students
do not need to spend cost or money on boardinghouses or apartments. Secondly
, if students
stay with families
when they college, it gives children
the opportunity to share with the main family if they have problems in university such
as issues about friends or struggle with studies. And then
, most important
, parents can have more control Replace the word
importantly
like
the behaviour of they have Change preposition
over
children
and avoid children
doing negative activities.
On the other hand
, this
situation has advantages, students
can't get more experienced or explore another city because they just still in their hometown and their circle of friends is small. And then
, probably, children
don't have the freedom to solve they have problems, because in several cases, if children
grow up and always stay with families
, probably they will need parents in all situations, for example
, children
do not witness cleaning they have a bedroom or cooking.
In conclusion, I believe students
living in houses with their families
when they study has substantial benefits, as it allows for minimizing costs and controlling they have mental health.Submitted by bonarpasaribuu on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
The essay should present a clear position throughout, ensuring each point is relevant to the central argument and strengthening it through specific, relevant examples. This helps in addressing the task response fully.
task achievement
Ensure clear and accurate use of grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity and comprehension of the ideas presented. Improving grammatical accuracy enhances readability and helps convey ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas logically, ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and is supported effectively. This aids coherence and cohesion, making the essay more comprehensible and engaging.
coherence cohesion
Create a more defined introduction and conclusion. These sections should clearly outline the main points to be discussed and then summarize the key arguments effectively in conclusion.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced view, discussing both benefits and drawbacks of living at home during university studies.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical flow with each paragraph focusing on a central point, which aids coherence.
task achievement
The main points are generally supported though examples could be more specific and varied to strengthen your argument further.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?
Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+
Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!