In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages?
In some countries college
students
live at home with their parents Use synonyms
while
they study, meanwhile, in other nations, Linking Words
students
attend university in another town. Use synonyms
This
essay will examine the benefits and drawbacks with provide logical exemplification and conclusion.
First of all, I believe Linking Words
students
still alive with their Use synonyms
families
Use synonyms
while
they study have a lot of benefits from the Economy and Mental health. Linking Words
Firstly
, Linking Words
students
can save money if they stay at home because Use synonyms
students
do not need to spend cost or money on boardinghouses or apartments. Use synonyms
Secondly
, if Linking Words
students
stay with Use synonyms
families
when they college, it gives Use synonyms
children
the opportunity to share with the main family if they have problems in university Use synonyms
such
as issues about friends or struggle with studies. And Linking Words
then
, most Linking Words
important
, parents can have more control Replace the word
importantly
like
the behaviour of they have Change preposition
over
children
and avoid Use synonyms
children
doing negative activities.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, Linking Words
this
situation has advantages, Linking Words
students
can't get more experienced or explore another city because they just still in their hometown and their circle of friends is small. And Use synonyms
then
, probably, Linking Words
children
don't have the freedom to solve they have problems, because in several cases, if Use synonyms
children
grow up and always stay with Use synonyms
families
, probably they will need parents in all situations, Use synonyms
for example
, Linking Words
children
do not witness cleaning they have a bedroom or cooking.
In conclusion, I believe Use synonyms
students
living in houses with their Use synonyms
families
when they study has substantial benefits, as it allows for minimizing costs and controlling they have mental health.Use synonyms
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task achievement
The essay should present a clear position throughout, ensuring each point is relevant to the central argument and strengthening it through specific, relevant examples. This helps in addressing the task response fully.
task achievement
Ensure clear and accurate use of grammar and vocabulary to enhance clarity and comprehension of the ideas presented. Improving grammatical accuracy enhances readability and helps convey ideas more effectively.
coherence cohesion
Organize ideas logically, ensuring each paragraph has a clear main idea and is supported effectively. This aids coherence and cohesion, making the essay more comprehensible and engaging.
coherence cohesion
Create a more defined introduction and conclusion. These sections should clearly outline the main points to be discussed and then summarize the key arguments effectively in conclusion.
task achievement
You have presented a balanced view, discussing both benefits and drawbacks of living at home during university studies.
coherence cohesion
Your essay maintains a logical flow with each paragraph focusing on a central point, which aids coherence.
task achievement
The main points are generally supported though examples could be more specific and varied to strengthen your argument further.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?