Some people think young people should be required to have full time education until they are at least 18 years old. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is widely believed that full-time
education
should be compulsory for the youth until they turn at least 18 years old. From my perspective, I strongly advocate this
idea for two main reasons.
First and foremost, full-time education
allows the young to acquire enough necessary knowledge
for their life
. Specifically, the educational curriculum contains fundamental knowledge
to ensure every student is provided with a basic understanding of the surroundings of their life
, so if the time for education
is not sufficient or students drop off too early, youngsters will lack essential knowledge
, which challenges their daily life
. Fix the agreement mistake
lives
For instance
, when an adolescent does not participate in adequate physics lessons about electricity, they are unable to resolve some simple problems about electricity in their house, or they are even likely to cause accidents and injure themselves.
In addition
, it is education
that the young should focus on, rather than any other fields at the early stage of their life
. The justification for this
point is that plenty of juveniles are not experienced enough to identify their own strengths, weaknesses, and preferences, so it is difficult for them to decide their career path. Therefore
, having a comprehensive perspective about various subjects is conducive to their search for their potential. A prime illustration of this
point is that students may find their deep interest in Natural Science instead
of Social Science after a prolonged approach to both of them, so they opt to pursue a suitable career path, which is related to Natural Science.
To conclude
, it is mandatory for the youth to receive full-time education
because of its provision of essential knowledge
and assistance in students choosing a suitable career path. Only by full-time education
can the young’s life
be improved.Submitted by [email protected] on
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general
In order to improve, you could work on providing a more detailed explanation and analysis of your examples. For instance, elaborate on how lacking essential knowledge impacts not just daily life but long-term career prospects and personal safety thoroughly. Additionally, try connecting your paragraphs with more varied linking words and phrases to enhance the flow of your writing.
task achievement
To further develop your ideas, try to include counterarguments. Acknowledging opposing viewpoints will showcase critical thinking and a balanced perspective, which can elevate your essay.
general
Your essay has a clear structure, with a strong introduction and conclusion. This makes your arguments easy to follow and understand.
task achievement
You have provided relevant examples to support your points, like how lacking knowledge in physics can lead to dangerous situations.
task achievement
Your main points are well-supported and your ideas are clear and comprehensive. You have made a strong case for compulsory education until 18.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.