Buying things on the Internet, such as books, air ticketsand groceries, is becoming more and more popular. Do the advantages of shopping in this way outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays online shopping become more popular the public purchases books, flight tickets, clothes and many other things. In my opinion, I believe the benefits outweigh the disadvantages. In
this
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essay, I am going to discuss the benefits and drawbacks and draw my personal conclusion. In terms of advantages side, buying goods on the Internet is much faster and easier than the ordinary way.
Firstly
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, you do not have to own or spend on transport to go to the malls or stores you can only use your device to shop.
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, that will reduce the traffic jams in the cities.
Secondly
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, there will be a new economy from the online stores and that will make up new jobs and trade for the members of society.
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, it is extremely simple to compare between the different shops and offers. There is no doubt that there are some disadvantages to online shopping. A high percentage risk of manipulation, security payment issues, and online rob. As an example, the clients may order a T-shirt and get another colour or style.
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, the malls and stores will face challenges from e-commerce.
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, reduced sales amount and many of them broke and ended their trade.
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, the duration of the ship the orders might take a long period to arrive for customers.
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, buying on the Internet stimulates people to spend more purchasing unnecessary things. In conclusion, online shopping become more popular recently. I believe e-commercials have advantages for individuals and more than drawbacks.

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task achievement
The introduction would benefit from a more explicit thesis statement that clearly outlines your position and the main points you will discuss.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure you provide clear transitions between points and paragraphs to enhance the flow of the essay. For example, use linking words like 'furthermore' or 'however.'
task achievement
Try to give more specific examples to support your claims. For instance, when mentioning security issues, you can elaborate on how they affect consumers and give specific examples.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, rephrase your main points to reinforce your argument. A more thorough summary of your main ideas would strengthen your closing remarks.
task achievement
The essay clearly presents a balanced view of the topic by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of online shopping, which is commendable.
task achievement
You effectively identified a few relevant advantages and disadvantages of online shopping, showing that you understand the topic well.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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