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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people feel that the media should not openly share the private lives of celebrities. Q- Some people feel that the media should not openly share the private lives of celebrities. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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The
media
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 plays a powerful role in disseminating information to the public.
However
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, the extent to which that can intrude into the private
lives
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 of
celebrities
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 is a contentious issue.
While
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 some individuals say that public figures must expect and endure
such
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 scrutiny, others believe that they
also
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 have a
right
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 to keep their personal
lives
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 private. It is important for the
media
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 to respect the boundaries of
celebrities
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 and understand that everyone has a
right
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 to
privacy
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, regardless of their status in society.
This
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 viewpoint argues for a more respectful and considerate approach
while
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 covering
celebrities
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 in the
media
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. On the one hand,
celebrities
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 are often seen as role models by many people in our society, especially the younger generation, their actions, and lifestyle choices can significantly influence their fans in a certain direction.
Therefore
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, some argue that the
media
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 must continue to openly share
celebrities
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’ private
lives
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, and it is their responsibility to report about their private
lives
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.
This
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 perspective suggests that
celebrities
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, by choosing to be public figures, have implicitly agreed to
this
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 level of scrutiny.
On the other hand
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, everyone has a
right
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 to
privacy
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, regardless of their profession or status. And
celebrities
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 are no exception to
this
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. The
media
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’s relentless intervention in the pursuit of personal stories can
also
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 build unnecessary stress and anxiety for these individuals.
Furthermore
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, it can
also
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 lead to distorted images of
celebrities
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, as the
media
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 often has
this
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 habit of sensationalizing aspects of their personal
lives
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 for higher TRP. In my opinion,
while
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 it is important for the
media
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 to keep the public informed about the
lives
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 of
celebrities
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, it is
also
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 equally necessary for them to respect individuals’
privacy
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 rights.
Celebrities
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, despite their public status, must not be subjected to undue invasion of their personal
lives
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. The
media
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 should focus more on their professional achievements rather than their personal
lives
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. In conclusion,
while
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 there is a fine line between public interest and invasion of
privacy
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, it is crucial for the
media
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 to strike a balance.
Celebrities
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 have a
right
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 to
privacy
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 just like any other individual.
Therefore
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, the
media
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 should respect
this
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right
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 and refrain from delving too deeply into their personal
lives
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.

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task achievement
Include more specific and relevant examples to support your main points. For instance, mention specific incidents where media intrusion has negatively impacted a celebrity's life to strengthen your argument.
coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next. You could use connecting phrases more frequently to enhance the logical flow of the essay.
task achievement
The essay presents a well-rounded argument, acknowledging both sides of the issue, which is crucial for a balanced discussion.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and concise, framing the essay effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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