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In the 20th century, contact between many different parts of the world developed rapidly through telecommunication and air travel. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?

#century #contact #parts #world #telecommunication #air #travel #outweigh
Although
 the
improvement
Fix the agreement mistake
improvements
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 were there in the 20th
century
 internationally
due to
 the introduction of
variety
Correct article usage
a variety
show examples
aeroplanes
Change preposition
of aeroplanes
show examples
as well as
 new and fast processor cellphones,
on the other hand
,
this
 can cause death of people especially
due to
 the disappearing and emergency landing of the flights.
Therefore
, I do believe that
benefits
Correct article usage
the benefits
show examples
 of
this
 may
outnumbered
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outnumber
show examples
 the drawbacks.
Initially
, globally in the 20th
century
, humans started to
use
new
Add an article
the new
a new
show examples
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
 of mobile phones with
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good quality
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apply
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
network
Change the noun form
networks
show examples
such
 as 4gs and 5gs.
This
 helped
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society in communication
system
Fix the agreement mistake
systems
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 since long ago were
use
Replace the word
used
show examples
3gs
Correct your spelling
3GS
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network
Fix the agreement mistake
networks
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 which were of lower quality and
also
 landlines.A very good example to illustrate that could be my native country Zimbabwe, in my country, the population in the
last
century
 they
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
usually
use
Wrong verb form
used
show examples
 landlines to contact each other,
this
Correct word choice
and this
show examples
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 causing
also
 some problems of miscommunication because sometimes thieves
stolen
Wrong verb form
stole
show examples
 the wires and telephone poles for home
use
.
Hence
, the state ended with poor telecommunication but after a
while
Add a comma
while,
show examples
 they created wireless
landcalls
Correct your spelling
land calls
and calls
 which are now in
use
 and
then
,
this
 can clearly
shows
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show
show examples
 the
positivety
Correct your spelling
positivity
positive
 and quick development through mobiles.
Moreover
, many countries bought many
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
different types of airlines to develop the system of travelling.
Additionally
,
this
 was a good idea but it
also
causes
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
 high flight accidents which resulted in
death
Add an article
the death
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 of the people.To illustrate, countries like Kenya and
Uganga
Correct your spelling
Uganda
 bought some planes to improve the
rolacting
Correct your spelling
relocating
collecting
 of humans but
this
 can
causing
Wrong verb form
cause
show examples
 crushes and emergency landing of flights in that region.Currently, the Prime of Uganda and 7 others died in a
crush
Correct your spelling
crash
show examples
 of
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 helicopter,
thus
,
it is clear that
 flights can kill our national heroes.
To conclude
, in the 20th
century
,
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
rapid development from more and more parts of the world
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 there but it
also
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
 the death of human lives,
however
, I agree that the advantages of
this
 outweigh the disadvantages.
Submitted by cajaah93 on

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clear comprehensive ideas
Work on clearly expressing your ideas with comprehensive and sophisticated language. Try to avoid redundancy and confusing sentence structures.
relevant specific examples
Ensure that you are providing relevant and specific examples that clearly support your main points. Make sure that examples are integrated smoothly into your argument.
complete response
Increase the depth and development of your response by exploring all aspects of the prompt in greater detail.
introduction conclusion present
The essay has a clear structure with an introduction and conclusion, which aids in conveying the main argument effectively.
logical structure
Logical progression of ideas is present, and there is an attempt to link the sections of the essay smoothly.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • facilitated
  • fostering
  • international relations
  • cultural exchange
  • innovations
  • accessibility
  • boosted
  • contributing
  • economy
  • job opportunities
  • environmental degradation
  • carbon emissions
  • digital divide
  • over-dependence
  • diminish
  • face-to-face interactions
  • physical presence
  • disconnection
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