Some people think that the development of technology helps to reduce crime, while other people think it encourages crime. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.
In
this
era, technology
has grown tremendously, and people
some of
Change preposition
apply
them
think, it can protect them from Correct pronoun usage
apply
the
criminals, Correct article usage
apply
while
others argue that advanced technology
development
has led to create
Verb problem
apply
a new issues
among the public. Correct the article-noun agreement
new issues
a new issue
This
essay will discuss about
both Remove the preposition
apply
the
views and from my perspective, it can protect Correct article usage
apply
people
from jeopardy.
Initially
, due to
technical development
, communication access is getting easy
today. In the present situation, most Correct word choice
easier
people
are deploying smartphones, hence
they can contact any individuals during their emergency times. Moreover
, CCTV cameras are one of the best product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
from
Change preposition
of
the
Correct article usage
apply
technology
, nowadays these types of cameras are installed in all places such
as shopping malls, restaurants and public gathering places, thus
crime rate has gone to decline and it will be very helpful for finding offenders and police can solve the case with the help of this
camera. To illustrate, in my home country, the government has implemented a law, which says all the
private organizations Correct article usage
apply
as well as
merchants should install CCTV cameras also
that can be directly monitored by the police control department.
Furthermore
, every coin has two sides, technological development
brings some serious drawbacks also
. In addition
, most people
are using social websites and their personal details must possibly by
stolen by hackers. Correct your spelling
be
Additionally
, there are a lot of fake websites and emails available in
online and Change preposition
apply
the
illegal hackers are targeting innocent Correct article usage
apply
people
especially youngsters to loot money from them. To illustrate, a few years back, there was a game Blue Whales that was controlled by illegal hackers and they snatched a lot of money from their subscribers.
To conclude
, it’s undeniable the
Correct your spelling
that
technology
Add a missing verb
is development
development
and no one can stop it. Whilst, Replace the word
developing
people
should be aware and use it very carefully.Submitted by smsundaram57 on
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coherence cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, consider using more varied linking words and phrases to connect your ideas. This will help make the logical progression of your essay clearer.
task achievement
Ensure that each main point is well-developed with detailed explanations and examples. Sometimes the ideas presented are a bit general, and more specific detail would strengthen your argument.
general
Take care to proofread for small grammatical and lexical errors. Although minor, these can sometimes distract from the overall flow and clarity of your writing.
coherence cohesion
You provided a well-structured introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the essay effectively.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument as required by the task. This shows your ability to follow instructions and cover the topic comprehensively.
task achievement
You have included relevant examples to support your points, particularly with reference to CCTV cameras and social media threats.