In many countries, people are now living longer than sʼever before. Some people think the are benifits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the adventages of having an ageing population outweigh the adventages.?

#countries #people #sʼever #benifits #society #adventages #population

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In many countries, individuals

experiencing

Wrong verb form

experience

show examples

longer

lifes

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lives

show examples

, than at any time in history.

Although

Linking Words

there are

Several

Fix capitalization

several

show examples

advantages of

people

Use synonyms

belive

Correct your spelling

believe

show examples

older

Correct article usage

the older

show examples

generation it can have Some disadvantages as well. I would argue that

positive

Correct article usage

the positive

show examples

sides of

this

Linking Words

can outweigh the negatives.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, there are severe

Correct your spelling

benefit

benefits

benifit

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benefits

of older

people

Use synonyms

bring to society

Correct your spelling

show examples

wisdom and

Correct your spelling

experience

exprience

Correct your spelling

experience

The first of it is considered to be that their deep knowledge,

aquired

Correct your spelling

acquired

though

Correct your spelling

through

show examples

decades of life

exrpience

Correct your spelling

experience

, offers valuable insight for the younger generation,

for example

Linking Words

, the elderly can serve as a mentor, Sharing customs, cultural

tradition

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traditions

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, and stories from past generations, These all can

preseve

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preserve

the cultural heritage of a country.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, despite mentioned positives, an

aging

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ageing

show examples

population places significant strain on the healthcare system. As

people

Use synonyms

get older,

the

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they

show examples

generally require more medical attention and services

due to

Linking Words

the increasing

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prevalence

prevelance

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prevalence

of some

deases

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diseases

diseases like diabetes and heart attack.

This

Linking Words

leads to a higher

demond

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demand

for medical resources and healthcare

prefessionals

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professionals

Moreover

Linking Words

, an

aging

Change the spelling

ageing

show examples

population imposes a financial burden on

goverenments

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governments

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show examples

population means more

people

Use synonyms

are living longer,

Ieading

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Leading

to an increase

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the number of retirees who draw pensions.

As a result

Linking Words

, the more

people

Use synonyms

are retired, the more funds the

goverenment

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government

needs to pay. In

conlusion

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conclusion

while

Linking Words

the

old

Fix the agreement mistake

older

show examples

generation can offer Several positives, there

Correct your spelling

may

show examples

be some

drew backs

Correct your spelling

drawbacks

show examples

too. From my personal point of

wiegh

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view

advantages

Correct article usage

the advantages

show examples

this

Linking Words

will

ought

Add the word

ought to

show examples

weigh the disadvantages.

Submitted by soglomovsarvar on Wed Jun 26 2024

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grammatical accuracy

Work on maintaining consistent and correct grammar throughout the essay. Pay attention to verb tenses and subject-verb agreement.

task response

Address both the advantages and disadvantages more equally. Expand on the examples and ideas mentioned with more depth.

coherence and cohesion

Improve logical flow by using clearer topic sentences and transitions between points.

task response

The essay clearly identifies both advantages and disadvantages of an aging population.

task response

You have included some specific examples and points to support your arguments.

coherence and cohesion

Main points are generally supported with some explanation and evidence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

6 paragraphs

244 words

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In many countries, people are now living longer than sʼever before. Some people think the are benifits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the adventages of having an ageing population outweigh the adventages.?

Fully explain your ideas

The plans below show the site of an airport now and how it will look after redevelopment next year. Summarize the information be selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison were relevant

Some people say that the experiences a child has before starting school have the most influence on their future life. Others say that experiences as a teenager, especially at school are more influential. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some people get into debt by buying things they don't need and can't afford. What are the reasons for this behavior? What action can be taken to prevent people from having this problem?

Some people believe that the best way to deal with heavy traffic in city centers is for privately owned cars to be banned, others however, think this is an unrealistic solution. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that the best of improve road safety is to icrease the minimum legal age for driving cars or riding motorbikes. To what extent do you agree or disagree?