All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem aﬀects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity, How could it be tackled?

#world #societies #obesity #aﬀects #children #adults #rise

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There are reasons you feel so good when you wake up from a long, restful sleep, but for many people getting enough sleep can be difficult. So what is happening when you sleep Why is it important And what can you do to ensure you get enough B There are five stages of sleep: when you fall asleep, you go into

stage

1, which is light sleep and quite easy to be woken up from,

then

you move into

stage

2, 3, and

then

4, with each

stage

getting progressively deeper. After about 1.5 hours you go into another

stage

called REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, which is when most dreaming happens.

This

cycle happens around 5 times per night.

Submitted by ahmedaziz9811 on Wed Jun 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the topic and sets up a roadmap for the essay. A conclusion should summarize the main points discussed.

coherence cohesion

Improve coherence by using linking words and transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This helps in maintaining the flow of your essay.

task achievement

Provide more relevant specific examples or evidence to support your points. For instance, talk about how lifestyle changes or technological advancements contribute to sleep issues.

task achievement

The essay provides a clear explanation of the stages of sleep, effectively demonstrating understanding of the subject matter.

coherence cohesion

The information about the stages of sleep is well-organized which makes it easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

2 paragraphs

120 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
Nowadays, more and more older people who are looking for work have to compete with younger people for the same job. What problemes does this came? What are some possibles solutions?
In our time old people need to work harder to compete with young people in the exact jobs, which makes old people get more tired and makes their lives more difficult, we need to allocate some kind of work for the elderly.
7.5
band
Some people think that hard work and determination are the keys to success in life. Some, on other hand, think that there are other factors behind a successful life. Give your opinion.
Regarding my work experience, during the last academic year in my BS, which is known as ‘The Internship’, the general clinical rotations were deeper in knowledge about Pediatrics, Surgery, and Gynecology and Obstetrics, and my elective program consisted of seven months related to Internal Medicine. Subsequently, after my graduation, my clinical performance was focused on the Internal Medicine field mainly related to critical care, emergency room, and inpatient health care. Additionally, taking specific continuing education courses to learn the most innovative strategies about COVID-19 management and The Fundamental Critical Care Support certified by The Society of Critical Care Medicine.
4.5
band
The growed number of overweight people is puttings a strain on the health care systems in an effort to deal with the health issues involved. Some people thinks that the best way to deal with this problems is to introduced more physical education lessons in the school curriculum. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Owing to the problems which a growing population of overweight people cause for the health care system, some people think that the key to solvings these issues is to have more sport and exercise in schools. In my opinions, I completely agrees that this is the best way to tackle the issue of deterioratings public health in relation to weight.
5.5
band
You recently attended a conference and you would like to give a presentation about the information you gained by attending the conference. Write a letter to your manager asking for permission to give a presentation. In your letter: describe what type of presentation you have in mind what topics it would cover and how long it would take who should participate in the presentation and where should it be conducted You do NOT need to write any address. You should write at least 150 words.
I am writing to thank you the opportunity for being in the last conference about the advancements of technology in our profesion, that took place in Cosentino's showroom last Sunday.
5
band
Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reason why someone should pearn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.
The demand for educating a non-native language is ever-increasing in the modernized world. A few people argue that the only purpose of learning an external language is for working or travelling, while others believe that there are many more reasons to this trend. Both these views will be explained and given a conclusion.

All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem aﬀects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity, How could it be tackled?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Nowadays, more and more older people who are looking for work have to compete with younger people for the same job. What problemes does this came? What are some possibles solutions?

Some people think that hard work and determination are the keys to success in life. Some, on other hand, think that there are other factors behind a successful life. Give your opinion.

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel or work in a foreign country. Others say that these are not the only reason why someone should pearn a foreign language. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.