All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem aﬀects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity, How could it be tackled?

#world #societies #obesity #aﬀects #children #adults #rise

There are reasons you feel so good when you wake up from a long, restful sleep, but for many people getting enough sleep can be difficult. So what is happening when you sleep Why is it important And what can you do to ensure you get enough B There are five stages of sleep: when you fall asleep, you go into

stage

1, which is light sleep and quite easy to be woken up from,

then

you move into

stage

2, 3, and

then

4, with each

stage

getting progressively deeper. After about 1.5 hours you go into another

stage

called REM (rapid eye movement) sleep, which is when most dreaming happens.

This

cycle happens around 5 times per night.

Submitted by ahmedaziz9811 on Wed Jun 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement

Ensure your introduction clearly outlines the topic and sets up a roadmap for the essay. A conclusion should summarize the main points discussed.

coherence cohesion

Improve coherence by using linking words and transitions between sentences and paragraphs. This helps in maintaining the flow of your essay.

task achievement

Provide more relevant specific examples or evidence to support your points. For instance, talk about how lifestyle changes or technological advancements contribute to sleep issues.

task achievement

The essay provides a clear explanation of the stages of sleep, effectively demonstrating understanding of the subject matter.

coherence cohesion

The information about the stages of sleep is well-organized which makes it easy to follow.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

2 paragraphs

120 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
You have heard that your company is organising a language training abroad for a limited number of participants. Write a letter of interest state your position in the company explain why they should include you in the training Explain how training could benefit you and your company.
Good afternoon, dear sir. My name is Anastassia, from the Palliative Department. I listened that our hospital had organised a language training in one of the US hospitals. I'll be really glad to participate in this training for several reasons.
7
band
childhood obesity has now becoming more and more popular
Obesity in children is worsening at an unprecedented rate and many discussions have been made to overcome such a situation. Some people view that the best way to prevent obesity in children is by banning fast foods and sweet snacks in schools' cafeterias. Although I believe it is a good precautionary measure, I do not agree it is the best way to fight against child obesity.
4.5
band
Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.
While it is widely claimed that schools should emphasis on only academic performance rather than those skills such as cookery, tailor, and crafts that could be learned elsewhere out of the school, others argue that those hand-on skills should be included in the curriculum as well. Both point of views and reasons why I agree with the former statement will be elaborated on in this essay.
5
band
It is too expensive to look after and repair old building .Tho money should spend on building new modern buildings instead .To what extent do you agree or disagree.
some people believe that it more costly to fix or upgrade an old building, so money should be inveast in new houseing projects. however, I strongly agree it is better option to invest in new porperty because it offers more resident stisfactory , Also, it can accomdate new life style demand.
6.5
band
A lot of places in the word rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern word. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?
The tourism economy has seen a rising trend in the development of a country, not only does it bring foreign currency into a nation but also generates various employment in the field of hospitality and travel sector. In contrast, a large inflow of foreign people can also create a cultural imbalance in the country and can also imbalance the ecology of the place. Thus, there are advantages and disadvantages of the tourist economy which will be discussed further.

All over the world, societies are facing a growing problem with obesity. This problem aﬀects both children and adults. What are the reasons for this rise in obesity, How could it be tackled?

Include an introduction and conclusion

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

You have heard that your company is organising a language training abroad for a limited number of participants. Write a letter of interest state your position in the company explain why they should include you in the training Explain how training could benefit you and your company.

childhood obesity has now becoming more and more popular

Schools should focus on academic success and passing examinations. Skills such as cookery, dressmaking and woodwork should not be taught at school as it is better to learn these from family and friends. To that extent do you agree or disagree.

It is too expensive to look after and repair old building .Tho money should spend on building new modern buildings instead .To what extent do you agree or disagree.

A lot of places in the word rely on tourism as a main source of income. Unfortunately, tourism can also be a source of problems if it is not managed correctly. Describe the advantages and disadvantages of tourism in the modern word. Do you think that benefits of tourism outweigh its drawbacks?