IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The best vway to make roads safer is to make vehicle grivers take a driving test each year. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#vway #roads #vehicle #grivers #test #year
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In all monopolies,
roads
 will be more secure if vehicle users pass the driving tests each
year
.
Although
 it will be supportable, it is more effective if there are special areas for vehicle
drivers
.
To begin
 with, there should be a driving test for these
drivers
 each
year
. They will be better acknowledged of the
rules
 on the
road
.
As a result
, there will be a reduced percentage of accidents on
roads
.
For instance
, when not only
cyclists
 but
also
 other
drivers
 have learnt the
rules
, there are fewer crashes on the
road
.
Thus
, if
cyclists
 pass the exam each
year
, they will be more qualified
drivers
 who are supportable in keeping the
road
 safe.
While
 passing the exam each
year
 would be supportable, it is more effective if there are special zones for
cyclists
. In
this
 case,
cyclists
 would feel their self more comfortable in a private area where would are cyclistscyclist.
Moreover
, there
will not be neither
Rewrite the sentence
will not be either
will be neither
show examples
 crashes with other
drivers
 nor obligation to pass exams regularly.
As a consequence
, when
roads
 are selected depending on the type of transport, individuals will not have any crashes with mixed transport at all.
In other words
,
cyclists
 do not feel scared about big
roads
 with cars.
Therefore
, if there are selected zones,
roads
 will be safer without passing exams constantly since cyclist have to know only their
rules
. By taking both sides into account I consider that
while
 passing the exam provides us with qualified
drivers
 who know the
rules
 of the
road
, it is more effective when we have selected
roads
Submitted by makemoneyizzy16 on

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task achievement
Try to make your introduction more engaging and clear. State your position more explicitly at the beginning.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you clearly differentiate between cyclists and other drivers throughout your essay to avoid confusion.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples to enhance your arguments. Personal anecdotes, statistics, or cited research can make your points stronger and more convincing.
coherence cohesion
Work on your transitions between paragraphs; they can help improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
The essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing a balanced analysis.
coherence cohesion
There is a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.
task achievement
The ideas presented are relevant to the topic and respond directly to the task prompt.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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