More and more people relying on private car as their major means of transportation. Describe some of the problem overreliances on cars can cause, and suggest at least one possible solution

A large number of individuals prefer to have their own motor vehicles to get around the city.
However
,
it is clear that
it is a big issue
such
as carbon dioxide emission into the air . The most viable solution is increasing
tax
Correct article usage
the tax
show examples
on cars by the government. The principal cause is associated with
gasses
Replace the word
gas
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CO2. Automobiles which work with petrol, their electric motor generates CO2.
Therefore
, the environment deteriorates ,
also
humans
too
Rephrase
apply
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have problems with health like headaches.
For example
,
scientists
Change noun form
scientists'
scientist's
show examples
researches show
Correct subject-verb agreement
research shows
show examples
that one of the main
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
global warming is that
wheels
Correct your spelling
the
show examples
quantity
going
Verb problem
of water goes
show examples
up every day and their gasses destroy the Earth which can come to that all people can disappear from our planet. To tackle
this
problem the government should raise the taxes
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
cars. When a person buys a car , he pays
tax
for that and a big
tax
can decrease the amount of drivers, owing to a budget which they do not have .
For instance
, Denmark has the highest taxes for cars,
because
Correct word choice
and because
show examples
of that more humans choose bicycles or public
transports
Fix the agreement mistake
transport
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. In a
way
Add a comma
way,
show examples
it can help people’s health. To summarize , many people’s interest in having their own motors can cause problems like CO2 emission. For decline, that
tax
for automobiles must move upward. I believe that humans will understand
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
show examples
of using automobiles and that their upsurge have huge problems for us,
also
Correct word choice
and also
show examples
for the planet.
Submitted by akzharkynzhamal on

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task achievement
Expand on your ideas and provide more relevant examples to fully support your arguments and enhance the essay.
coherence cohesion
Work on ensuring that your essay includes a clear and concise thesis statement in the introduction, and revisits this idea in the conclusion.
coherence cohesion
Focus on linking your ideas more effectively across sentences and paragraphs to improve the flow and coherence of your essay.
task achievement
The essay effectively identifies a key problem related to the overreliance on cars: carbon dioxide emissions, and provides a corresponding solution: increasing taxes on cars.
coherence cohesion
The structure of the essay is logical and easy to follow: it begins with an introduction, develops the main points in the body paragraphs, and concludes with a summary and personal opinion.
task achievement
The essay makes an effort to support the main points with examples, such as the mention of Denmark’s high taxes on cars.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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