The bar and line chart below shows average monthly temperatures and bathing suit sales in New York for the first 6 months of 2012.

The bar and line chart below shows average monthly temperatures and bathing suit sales in New York for the first 6 months of 2012.
The line graph shows
temperature
and the
bar
chart
revenue
from bathing suit
sales
in New York City. Both are from the first six months in 2012.,
temperature
is measured in Fahrenheit and
sales
measured
Add a missing verb
are measured
show examples
in US$.
Overall
, we can see that monthly
temperature
increased significantly and bathing suit
sales
peaked in April. As . More people buy swimsuits in winter and spring to prepare for summer we can see from January to March the
revenue
had increased in
steady
Add an article
a steady
show examples
pattern ,$100.000, $150.000 and $200.000 respectively, at the same time the average temperatures, had fluctuated a bit, in January the
temperature
was approximately 32
degrees
while
in February 30
degrees
and March almost 40
degrees
. April is when most of the money is made from selling swimsuits ,and as
whether
Correct your spelling
weather
show examples
gets too hot in May
sales
drop dramatically to almost less than
third
Correct article usage
a third
show examples
of
April
Change noun form
April's
show examples
revenue
and decrease even more in June. In April the
revenue
bar
was just under $300.000, in May the
bar
was just
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
of the previous month but three times more than
June
Correct article usage
the June
show examples
bar
.
Whereas
, the
temperature
line
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
kept
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
increasing
Change the form of the verb
increase
show examples
from February to June
where
Correct word choice
when
show examples
it was recorded
more
Change preposition
at more
show examples
or less 65 Fahrenheit
degrees
.
Submitted by fatimahalsalman215 on

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 69%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words temperature, bar, revenue, sales, degrees with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.

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