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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The maps below show the changes of a school from 1985 to the present time. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant You should write at least 150 words

The maps below show the changes of a school from 1985 to the present time. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant You should write at least 150 words
#maps #show #changes #school #time #information #features #comparisons
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The two maps illustrate the developments that
accured
Correct your spelling
accrued
occurred
 at the school from 1985 and its current form .
Overall
Linking Words
 ,
it is clear that
Linking Words
 the dimension of the road has changed its shape .
Moreover
Linking Words
 , There has been an expansion in
class rooms
Correct your spelling
classrooms
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 adding a green space in the centre .
This
Linking Words
 development has made it
accessable
Correct your spelling
accessible
 for more students to attend the school . In 1985 , the Southern area of the school was a playing field
that
Linking Words
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
 opposite
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the car park and the office ,
while
Linking Words
 the classrooms and the library
where
Correct your spelling
were
show examples
 backed up by the playing field . currently , the pool and fitness centre overtook the fields which declined the size of it .
However
Linking Words
 , the entrance , exit , and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
office
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 remained
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 original place. The library was
demonished
Correct your spelling
demolished
admonished
 in order to make up space for the
class room
Correct your spelling
classroom
show examples
 and the learning resources centre , which includes a computer room .
Submitted by nouf.alkhalaifi2 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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