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Band 5

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #climate #change
In today’s society, global warming has become a major topic internationally. Despite all the efforts
of preventing
Change preposition
to prevent
show examples
climate
change
 from getting worse, some protestors claim that governments and societies need to find a
way
 of living with it.
This
way
 of thinking can only result in worse results in the future.

Firstly
, if global warming does not get controlled, it will only get worse. When governments stop caring about the
environment
 and stop reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
pollution, the
environment
 is going to get worse
overtime
Correct your spelling
over time
show examples
. There will be a point when nature has become too polluted and it is too late to fix anything. It is always better to stop
climate
change
 now than to find a
way
 to
life
Replace the word
live
show examples
 in harmony with it.
Secondly
, there are no alternative ways that are reliable. Currently, all the ways to live with
climate
change
 are deemed unreliable.
Additionally
, it is better to solve a problem than fix it when it is too late.
Moreover
, even if scientists find a
way
 to live with
climate
change
, society will need to
change
the
Change the word
its
show examples
way
 of living to something else dramatically.
In contrast
, by simply doing some basic tasks every day to prevent pollution, not only will people’s lives
change
 much, but the
environment
 will
also
 get help thanks to the
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 protocols.
Overall
,
while
 alternative ways can be a major development for the world, it is still too far away from being a reality.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
show examples
, by preventing
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
global warming now, we do not need to
change
 our
way
 of living too much
while
also
 helping nature from pollution.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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task achievement
Your response addresses the task effectively, providing a clear stance on the issue and supporting it with relevant arguments. However, incorporating more specific examples and evidence would strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is mostly clear and coherent, improving the logical flow between some of your arguments would enhance the overall coherence. Consider using transition phrases more effectively to link your ideas together.
language accuracy
There are a few grammatical mistakes, such as 'to find a way to life in harmony' which should be 'to find a way to live in harmony'. Ensure you proofread your essay to catch these minor errors.
coherence cohesion
In the conclusion, try to summarize the key points more explicitly to leave a stronger impression. This will make your argument more compelling and coherent.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly sets up the topic and your stance on the issue, which makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong conclusion that encapsulates your main argument effectively.
task achievement
Your main points are clear and supported with reasoning, which demonstrates good task achievement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • prevent
  • adaptation
  • mitigation
  • cope with
  • effects
  • shift
  • mindset
  • lifestyle
  • balance
  • invest
  • research
  • technology
  • crucial
  • education
  • awareness
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