IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #climate #change
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In today’s society, global warming has become a major topic internationally. Despite all the efforts
of preventing
Change preposition
to prevent
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climate
Use synonyms
change
Use synonyms
 from getting worse, some protestors claim that governments and societies need to find a
way
Use synonyms
 of living with it.
This
Linking Words
way
Use synonyms
 of thinking can only result in worse results in the future.

Firstly
Linking Words
, if global warming does not get controlled, it will only get worse. When governments stop caring about the
environment
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 and stop reducing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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pollution, the
environment
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 is going to get worse
overtime
Correct your spelling
over time
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. There will be a point when nature has become too polluted and it is too late to fix anything. It is always better to stop
climate
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change
Use synonyms
 now than to find a
way
Use synonyms
 to
life
Replace the word
live
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 in harmony with it.
Secondly
Linking Words
, there are no alternative ways that are reliable. Currently, all the ways to live with
climate
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change
Use synonyms
 are deemed unreliable.
Additionally
Linking Words
, it is better to solve a problem than fix it when it is too late.
Moreover
Linking Words
, even if scientists find a
way
Use synonyms
 to live with
climate
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change
Use synonyms
, society will need to
change
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the
Change the word
its
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way
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 of living to something else dramatically.
In contrast
Linking Words
, by simply doing some basic tasks every day to prevent pollution, not only will people’s lives
change
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 much, but the
environment
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 will
also
Linking Words
 get help thanks to the
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 protocols.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 alternative ways can be a major development for the world, it is still too far away from being a reality.
Beside
Replace the word
Besides
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, by preventing
the
Correct article usage
apply
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global warming now, we do not need to
change
Use synonyms
 our
way
Use synonyms
 of living too much
while
Linking Words
also
Linking Words
 helping nature from pollution.
Submitted by dohuyhoang on

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task achievement
Your response addresses the task effectively, providing a clear stance on the issue and supporting it with relevant arguments. However, incorporating more specific examples and evidence would strengthen your argument further.
coherence cohesion
While your essay is mostly clear and coherent, improving the logical flow between some of your arguments would enhance the overall coherence. Consider using transition phrases more effectively to link your ideas together.
language accuracy
There are a few grammatical mistakes, such as 'to find a way to life in harmony' which should be 'to find a way to live in harmony'. Ensure you proofread your essay to catch these minor errors.
coherence cohesion
In the conclusion, try to summarize the key points more explicitly to leave a stronger impression. This will make your argument more compelling and coherent.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly sets up the topic and your stance on the issue, which makes it easy for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence cohesion
You have a strong conclusion that encapsulates your main argument effectively.
task achievement
Your main points are clear and supported with reasoning, which demonstrates good task achievement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • prevent
  • adaptation
  • mitigation
  • cope with
  • effects
  • shift
  • mindset
  • lifestyle
  • balance
  • invest
  • research
  • technology
  • crucial
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
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