In many countries children are taught discipline using both means encouragement as well as punishment. Which method is more suitable and effective? Is discipline necessary for children.
In
this
contemporary epoch, Discipline
is a vital part of school curriculum. Punishment
and motivation are means of teaching discipline
to the scholars in the schools. Encouragement is the better option over punishment
that should be opted by the tutors to maintain a positive environment in the schools.
To begin
with, the most prominent reason for considering the motivation a better choice is that it helps to spread a
positivity in Remove the article
apply
Correct article usage
the surrounding
surrounding
. It makes children feel relaxed and encouraged to follow all the Replace the word
surroundings
rules
and regulations either at schools
or in Fix the agreement mistake
school
the
society. Correct article usage
apply
As it
will help them to understand its importance that Correct word choice
It
discipline
is relentlessly necessary in all the phases of life
, if we need any help for any individual. Therefore
, encouragement is always a
best Change the article
the
opinion
.
Correct your spelling
option
However
, punishment
as a means to teach the learners to follow discipline
is not effective because it leads to generation
of fear in their Correct article usage
a generation
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
instead
of desire
to follow the Add an article
a desire
the desire
rules
. For instance
, due to
the fear of punishment
adults are seen following Add a comma
punishment,
regulation
at learning institutes in front of their seniors but they have got a lot Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
negative
thoughts about them Change preposition
of negative
at
their backs. They cannot learn anything forcefully as Change preposition
on
it’s
repercussions could be disruptive.
Replace the word
its
According to
my opinion, discipline
plays a really vital role in every phase of life
. Thus
, it is important to learn discipline
to live a peaceful and healthy life
. Discipline
does not means
just following the Change the verb form
mean
rules
at school or office such
as a proper dress code, but it also
indicates proper edicates
like how to behave with people around you with parents Correct your spelling
etiquette
as well as
school friends. Juveniles walking and eating style also
shows
their manners. Change the verb form
show
Thus
, it is true that discipline
is vital in children’s lives.
To conclude
, as per the matrimonial mentioned above it is crystal clear that discipline
is a skill that plays a vital role in students' life
at academic Fix the agreement mistake
lives
as well as
personal level
. But they should be encouraged to follow the Fix the agreement mistake
levels
rules
not punished.Submitted by ss6802125 on
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task response
The essay addresses the topic and makes a clear argument for why encouragement is better than punishment. However, it could benefit from more specific examples and evidence to support the main points. This would strengthen the argument and make it more convincing.
coherence
The essay is generally well-organized, but some transitions between ideas could be smoother. Try to use more transitional phrases to clearly link ideas and sections together.
supported main points
While the main points are generally supported, they would benefit from more specific examples and detailed explanations. This would provide a better grounding for the arguments and make them more compelling.
coherence
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps to frame the discussion and make it more digestible for the reader.
task response
The response is comprehensive and fully addresses the prompt, considering both methods of teaching discipline and the necessity of discipline.
introduction/conclusion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reinforces the opinion stated in the essay. This helps to leave a strong impression on the reader.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.