IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that education should be free for everyone Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#people #education
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
University education is one of
all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 milestones in many human lives.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, it is a financial burden for most
students
Use synonyms
 because most educational places are paid. Some people agree with
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
 situation,
while
Linking Words
 others adhere
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the contrary opinion.
This
Linking Words
 social question will be devoted
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
to this
show examples
 essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with the first point of view. Private
universities
Use synonyms
 are independent,
however
Linking Words
, it needs income.
Hence
Linking Words
universities
Use synonyms
 take money from
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
students
Use synonyms
. If the state
will sponsor
Wrong verb form
sponsors
show examples
ones
Fix the agreement mistake
one
show examples
,
universities
Use synonyms
 can
be undergone
Wrong verb form
undergo
show examples
 official propagation and unified educational
standarts
Correct your spelling
standards
.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
self-sufficiency
Correct article usage
the self-sufficiency
show examples
 of
universities
Use synonyms
 reduces budget costs. To continue with the second point of view. By the end of
education
Add a comma
education,
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 will have become qualified experts
therefore
Linking Words
 we need to give educational places for the most gifted
students
Use synonyms
 with extraordinary faculties.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, not all rich abiturients are smart.
Conversely
Linking Words
, we have many talents
which
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
 have
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 potential to become outstanding people, but they need financial support.
Thus
Linking Words
 society will have more granted professionals and
this
Linking Words
 reform will bring benefits in the future. In conclusion, I am a proponent of the second position. The smart people are our future, they will accept the fatal
decitions
Correct your spelling
decisions
decision
 and invent the technologies. For
this
Linking Words
 we should provide education
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
show examples
rich
Change preposition
for rich
show examples
students
Use synonyms
 but
Change preposition
for that
show examples
that
Correct determiner usage
those
show examples
 who
wants
Correct subject-verb agreement
want
show examples
 to study.
Submitted by andreidiakov2100 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Ensure your introduction more clearly outlines the general context and your stance on the issue. For instance, specify early on whether you agree or disagree with free education.
task achievement
Develop each point fully with supporting evidence or examples. For instance, you could provide examples of countries where free education has been beneficial or challenging.
coherence cohesion
Focus on improving sentence structure and grammar for clarity. Example: 'Upon graduation, students will have become qualified experts; hence, we need to provide education to the most gifted students, regardless of their financial situation.'
coherence cohesion
Work on paragraph transitions to improve the flow of the essay. Use transitional phrases to link ideas between paragraphs.
introduction conclusion present
Your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance and provides a clear opinion on the topic.
coherence cohesion
You have made an effort to present both sides of the argument, which shows a balanced approach to the topic.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: